In the last two months I've had fewer medical posts. Has that been nice? It has undeniably been nice for me. There is no reason for children to play doctor, doctors are not fun. An absence of doctors in your life is a good thing. I've enjoyed the hiatus. It was just a break though, not a permanent break-up. Poop. poopy poop.
In the last week I've had more achy mornings, preceded by nights of tossing and turning. After stumbling down to the kitchen to suck down the meds, that I was so sure would save me from the aches and pains, I found little relief. For some reason (I can guess a multitude, but be certain about none) this week the medications have decreased in effectiveness. I can still sit at the computer without piercing hip pain but have all-over pain instead. Knowing that no pill I take, hot shower taken, cold pack & liniments applied, exercising, or stretching I do will fully alleviate the discomfort makes me cry. Which gives me a headache.
Yesterday, I admitted to myself that this wasn't getting any better so I scheduled appointments with an Acupressurist. It is like massage, using the principles of acupuncture- without the needles. A friend gave me the brochure months ago. It has been tempting for a long time, but also not covered by insurance. They ask that when you schedule as a new patient you commit to 4 sessions, that's $200 and 2 hours cumulatively. Neither is easy to come by. I finally got desperate enough to try it. One of the biggest reasons is: I admit to myself that this could be Fibromyalgia. (alot of admitting going on when I say "could" with italics, huh?)
I've resisted that diagnosis for a long time. There are pressure points associated with Fibromyalgia, it is the major diagnostic criteria. I am not sensitive in enough of the pressure points. It is as simple as that. BUT as I read over the new (at least new to me) symptom list on Web MD there was too much that sounded familiar.
Today I had an appointment with my PCP, it went very well. I'm so happy to have found him- at least one good doctor in this valley of egomaniacs. He recommended two new Rheumatologists, saying the response I got from my previous one was not right. They are both women and fairly new doctors, very responsive to their patients and informed about Fibromyalgia (if that is what I have). He said he doesn't necessarily rule out MS or something along those lines. He supported my idea to skip through all the formalities with the Neurologist and just ask for an MS screening and a spinal tap as a definitive diagnostic tool. It not only can diagnose MS, but lupus, and a miscellany of disorders.
Considering both of those paths (neurology and rheumatology) is prudent because there could be some original problem such as MS or arthritis that stressed my body to such a degree that it precipitated the possible Fibromyalgia. The thing that out-and-out sucks about the two major candidates for diagnosis, (and I don't use the word "sucks" lightly, I mean it in the very most yuckiest sense of the word) is that neither MS nor Fibromyalgia have a cure. fun - not really.
Anyway, not alot of answers, but having a doctor listen did wonders for my mental state. He also slightly increased my Lyrica prescription, saying that if it works we should stick with it. I understand for the short term, not so happy about just upping meds when we don't know what is going on, but we're working on that. He also prescribed a new drug called Cymbalta. Originally developed for depression and anxiety but now being used for Fibromyalgia. It works in a different way than Lyrica so its OK to take at the same time. I have to admit, very hesitantly, that dealing with the pain gets old. And I could use some help with the mental/emotional side of things. So if Cymbalta helps with all of the things it is supposed to help with, then I will be grateful. If it just gives me more side effects - well, thenI guess I'll stock up on more fiber pills.
In all of this I am grateful for many things, most importantly- a husband that is supportive and understanding. Never once has he told me to suck it up and get out of bed, or to stop complaining, or anything like that. When I didn't feel well this morning he took the kids to school, then called to check on me and asked me out to lunch (which I appreciated but didn't feel up to). He has never questioned how I feel well enough to go to yoga or bookclub but not well enough to mop the kitchen floor. He is priceless.
The other huge thing I'm grateful for, which comes via the wonderful hubby, is insurance. Our good grocery store has a rack full of newspapers from all over the US, I glance at them, looking at the headlines from places I've been and lived. This last week, I noticed a headline from the Chicago Tribune about an immigrant woman who commited insurance fraud. She was in immense pain (I read this while in my own, lesser, pain) from cervical cancer, desperate for help she stole someone's identity so she could get medical attention. Not knowing what her illness was or what it would take to be treated, she eventually racked up large medical expenses through several treatments for cancer.
There is much to be said about her situation, about how one lie leads to another and nothing good comes from it, but for this post I'll just say that it made me so grateful for insurance and my well employed husband. I don't know how I'm so blessed. I pray for those who aren't. I don't know what to do to earn the blessings I have - is there is such a thing?
Ok, this is me...coming clean. Only Nicole knows this and now you :-) In December I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Yep...Sure made sense out of a lot of things. And I can say that for me the Cymbalta has been wonderful! I still have days when I have taken a vicodin from my stress fracture RX for the pain, but my reg Doc said she will give me some more for those couple of days a month. I was grateful for this and not RA or MS. I hope you get some relief my friend...I wonder what is causing fibro? I have quite a few friends now with it and I'm thinking my Mom might have had it. Anyway, love ya!
Posted by: Caren Nelson | March 21, 2009 at 08:51 PM
Caren, It sounds pretty mean to say "Congratulations you have Fibromyalgia" especially when I have an inkling of what that means. But I am happy that you know that you don't have those other things. I'm also glad you're able to get some help, that the Cymbalta has been good for you. I'm on day two and dealing with the dizzy, nausea, headache thing- your comment gives me hope to hold on, to let my body get used to it and give it a chance.
It does boggle the mind to try and understand how a disorder, like fibromyalgia, can suddenly appear, I'm anxious to hear more as research is done. It is very tempting to try all kinds of alternative treatments but I'm trying to take it a step at a time and be sensible. Many caring people recommend things and its hard to know what to try. We have a whole new topic to discuss next time we're up at 4 am :) Love ya 2
Posted by: jendoop | March 22, 2009 at 05:55 AM