"That we do a lot may not be so important. That we focus the energy of
our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance
-that is essential."
This quote has been swirling around in my brain with other things, one of which is the YW lesson I've prepared for my stake assignment. It is about repentance, one of the quotes I found is about the difference between sin and a mistake:
"For most of us, most of the time, the choice between good and bad is easy. What usually causes us difficulty is determining which uses of our time and influence are merely good, or better, or best. Applying that fact to the question of sins and mistakes, I would say that a deliberately wrong choice in the contest between what is clearly good and what is clearly bad is a sin, but a poor choice among things that are good, better, and best is merely a mistake." (Dallin H. Oaks, "Sins and Mistakes," Ensign, Oct 1996, 62)
I spend too much time dithering over what could possibly be a mistake, giving it as much mental weight as if I were deliberating over a sin. If I really don't know what to do, then I should choose an option, succeed or fail according to that choice (which could result in a mistake, not a sin). If I make a mistake I learn from it and move on, better prepared to make a better decision the next time.
I think this is what the Lord is talking about when he says to 'apply our hearts to understanding' - learning and becoming wise through the process of making mistakes. While our mistakes do have accompanying consequences, there is not the consequence of offending God as there is with a sin. (The talk by Elder Oaks explains it much better than I am here.) The major difference between the two, to me, is that with sin God has given us specific direction and we disobey. With a mistake we have general instructions (like "focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance") but the application of the concept is unclear to us and we haven't received revelation as to a specific course of action. This is a huge part of the learning that takes place in this life, applying knowledge, making mistakes, and learning through our own experience.
Sometimes this whole process of deciding a course of action is more about deciding to do something or deciding to refrain from action. Like today, I had a ton of things to do, but because of feeling badly the last few days I decided that I needed to rest. I'm still not sure if that was a mistake or not, but I made that choice with the best of intentions based on my current knowledge.
You could say there were two commandments competing in this situation - that I should care for my physical body, not run faster than I have strength and the admonition to not sleep longer than is needful, and to live according to the law of the harvest and the ethic of work (<--this work link is to an awesome article!). It's like Elder Oaks said, the difference between good, better, and best; which changes constantly! What could be best for me today, taking a nap, may not be what is best for me tomorrow.
Satan so loves to confuse us, and I know that for me one way he gets me confused and stunted is by making me feel that I'm not doing enough and that it is sin. This especially applies to motherhood. I've been stressing over the eating habits of my family, worried about starting my children off in life with the healthiest habits. It dawned on me today that I am doing a good job of this - we don't drink alcohol, tea, coffee, we don't smoke, we limit sweets, we grow a garden, I pack sack lunches, eat some organic/whole foods, etc. Yet Satan has me feeling like a failure in this area - it's crazy!!! I get so caught up in this worry that I may spend time on food prep that I could spend actually interacting with my children :) So instead of "doing" food I could be with my children, just being with them.
Another area this applies for me is putting my kids in extra-curricular activities. It's just not something I feel is important, yet I feel pressure from the world and friends constantly. It creeps in a makes me worry that I'm not providing something essential for my children. While it isn't a sin, and other wonderful people I know do put their kids in extra activities, I believe it would be a mistake for me to overburden our lives with more commitments.
To sum it all up - I'm too uptight and I over-think things. Hopefully I can learn to trust
God more, to leave my children's future, and mine, in His hands. Believing that he will lead
me to do those things that are of eternal significance while at the same time feeling hopeful
and at peace.
Comments