Remember the Magic 8 Ball? You ask it a question, give it a good shake, then peer through the little blue clouded window until your answer appears. If you didn't like the answer you could inadvertently give it a little shake to find a better one. Most of the answers in the magic ball were ambivalent - 'ask again later', 'answer hazy', or 'concentrate and ask again'. DH and I are so attuned to children at risk and foster care right now that I have noticed those things everywhere. It seems like the cosmic Magic 8 Ball is sending me answers.
The day after we talked to Rach about being a foster family there was a Meth Lab bust in the same neighborhood as the high school she'll attend next year. We read in the paper that there were two children, ages 2 & 4, living in the home that were placed in the custody of child services. We pointed out to her that those kids could have come to our home, to give her an idea of where foster kids come from.
On Saturday afternoon DH and I went out for our weekly date. We had lunch and went to the bookstore. While perusing the bestsellers and new releases we came across a photo book by Anne Geddes. I'm very familiar with her work (having worked in a picture frame shop) so I passed it by, but DH stopped and thumbed through every picture even remarking that one or two were cute (absolutely no cooing noises though, that would be un-manly).
As I watched him adore the beautiful newborns I remembered how great he was with our babies and wondered if he was thinking about what it will be like if we get a foster baby. How would it be to get up for early hour feedings now that we're a few years older? It also reminded me of something DH's mother told me when we were first married. She commented that he was wonderful with kids and had no doubt that he would be a good dad. She was absolutely right. I thought back on that, realizing that I was led to marry a man whose heart is big enough to love our children and a foster child. I couldn't do it without him.
Last week I took the kids to the library. This has been somewhat rare lately because it's so difficult to manage a two year old at the library (unless it's storytime, then library patrons have to expect weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth). While the kids found their books I quickly looked through the new books. I shouldn't have because I have a mid term tomorrow... but I got 3 books. One of them is called Self Storage. I'm in the middle of it so I won't rate it yet (spoiler alert!), but the main character has a few problems with her children that puts her parenting under a microscope (this is not something the blurb indicated, so I didn't know that going in). It struck me this morning as I read it at the gym that this is how some mothers with children in foster care feel. They parent the same way they were raised and/or find themselves in unfortunate circumstances where they made a bad decision (or several), and their children are taken away. It gave me another level of understanding for birth parents - which I need.
I also need this constant reassurance because this seems looney sometimes, especially when I think about how it must appear to others. A year ago I wasn't sure I could take care of my kids because of my physical issues. Now I'm better and willing not only to take on an additional child, but a troubled one at that. When it's right you just know. I can't question it, especially when the cosmic Magic 8 Ball is giving me such an obvious answer: "All signs point to 'Yes'!"
So Magic 8 Ball, since you're prognosticating so well, what can I make for dinner that costs $3, is healthy, and requires no effort?
I'm so thrilled for you to be a foster family! It sounds like you've also got your handy 8 ball close by and handy at a moments notice! I need to get me one of those again.
Posted by: The Sweet Escape | March 29, 2010 at 08:00 PM