Attachment

     Another foster class today. Two in three days is intense. Today the class was about attachment, why it doesn't happen, what a child is like who doesn't, and what you should do with them. 

      One of the women in the session had been a foster parent of teenage girls, then she adopted one of those girls. She gave a long speech about how dealing with RAD children is so difficult that foster parents should only take in babies. Another woman went on and on about how difficult her own kids are (she's adopting her neice that she's been caring for since day one.) she doesn't know how foster parents do it. The worker teaching the class did put in a plug for RAD children, saying that no matter how difficult they are we can't just ignore them. 

     The worker then went on to tell us that our county is cutting their Child Services department by 33% before December. That means they will be overloaded on top of overloaded. When caseworkers are overloaded they don't take check on foster kids and they are pressured to return children home too soon - when that happens children are sent home when safety isn't firmly in place. Because budget cut backs like this are taking place across the country, the number of children hurt or killed by their parents, family members, or foster parents will go up dramatically in the coming year. Sad but true, in this field the money pays for people that help. When the people that help are laid off, the problem continues and gets worse. 

      The solution? Pay careful attention to who you are voting for, they make decisions that effect children that could become sociopaths without proper attention in their formative years. Our own neglect will come back to haunt us as a country.

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     After all of this heavy information I walked through the rain to my car. I kissed DH goodbye and cried quietly in the shelter of my car. I cried for children who are so neglected that they don't know how to give or receive love. Then I prayed while I cried. I prayed for the strength, patience, and calm, for myself and others, to foster parent these children so that one day they will know the beauty of love. 

Comments

[Sue]

1.

My friend that I told you about earlier expressed considerable disappointment in the foster care system at times. One of the babies they took care of was returned to the family prematurely, she felt, which made for a lot of fear and anxiety on her part as they separated.

It's a hard thing, fostering. But I think she also felt that there were many rewards.

[Harlene]

2.

Remember Whom is asking you to serve these children. they are His and He will help you every step of the way!

[jendoop]

3.

Sue, I've heard from other foster parents that returning children home to an environment that isn't ready for them complicates the already intense emotions felt when saying goodbye to a child. My heart goes out to your friend and I'm watching her blog with interest. (Maybe one day I'll actually make a blogroll of all the great foster sites out there.)

Harlene, awesome comment. Just what I needed to hear, thanks!

[Maggie Popp]

4.

RAD kids definitely take a little extra umph in your day. But the worker is right, we can't just ignore them. Although they do need some extra interventions, I really think that what they need most is to absolutely positively know that they are loved no. matter. what. I love reading your heart for these kids. You'll do great.