lajendi

The Lost Week

Isn't this week between Christmas and New Year's like Land of the Lost or something? It's just weird. When I worked as a pay-by-the-hour employee I always had to work, and thought the whole world was pooping on me (ahhh, retail at the holidays). Now that I don't have to work on this week I just don't know what to do with myself. (I know, being a mom is work, but if you don't have to deal with school, it's time off.) What a great opportunity to get things done! But it's vacation, are you kidding me?

I keep staying up later and later, adding another movie each day. Although I sleep through the family showing between 3-5 pm. Today it was the kids playing the demo of Little Big Planet, not a movie. They have watched Night at the Museum several times. Right now they're finishing up Around the World in 80 Days (modern version). The newest Harry Potter flick arrived from Netflix yesterday, how have we let more than 24 hours go by without watching it?!

Baby is getting better and better at her covert food sneaking skills. Just now I caught her with two peppermint Joe-Joes that Jason and Kasey sent. Yes, I took them from her. Such delicacies should not be wasted on a 2 year old. Then she went for the bubbles. Then she went for the chocolate. We have so much junk food lying around it's hard to find hiding places for it. So it lays about. Right in front of my face, where I stuff it in. The kids regularly ask, "Can I have a cookie.. candy.. etc.?" And I have to keep a straight face while trying to swallow a dove caramel chocolate and tell them, "No!" I promise, I'll get a handle on the problem right after New Years. 

Yesterday I enlisted the kids' help and took out the mountain of recycling and trash. I mentally nagged my husband - "Why in the world did you have to forget to take it out the week before Christmas!" Then this enlightening bit of info popped into my mind: "He's working late tonight you ungrateful wife!" DH is working 4 days this week because a client is in town. So it's not just punching the clock, it's someone looking over his shoulder for the 10 hour work day. He does get a couple of nice dinners out on the town, but I know we all agree that being at home watching movies in your sloppy clothes is better. Thanks DH.

Yesterday we returned a few things to Target. It was easier than I anticipated. Today A. used her Build a Bear gift card from Grandma and Grandpa P. I bought a few new clothes with my Christmas money from them. Then we went grocery shopping. See, I am doing a few useful things. Baby's diaper is being changed and meals are being made too, dinner anyway. And you know with all that chocolate being consumed I am scared  of missing a workout, so that continues like clockwork.

Eventually we'll get back to real life, what a shock it will be. 6 am seminary starts on January 4th. By then I may have changed my sleep schedule enough that I can take the kids to seminary and then go to bed for the night. 

Happy Lost Week!

How to Breathe at Christmas Time

This is the most wonderfully stressful time of the year. Take all that we do and add to that everything that has to be done for the holidays - the baking, shopping, and partying. Then we're told that at this time of year more than any other we should be acting special - more like Christ would have us act. That is a lot to expect of a person - do more, act better, and have a better attitude. It gets very overwhelming to me, especially as I hear "There's No Place Like Home For the Holidays" repeated ad nauseum on the radio. I get that we're not with all of our family while everyone else gathers with those near and dear, I don't need a song to rub it in.

Today at the beginning of church I tried to sit quietly and have a prayer. I asked God to help me not be so bitter about the things that aren't going well. I asked that he would help me stop moping about missing my family. I asked that he would help me relax so I can enjoy the spiritual side of Christmas. Then I got angry and asked that he would cause a deep sleep to come upon the two year old that was pummeling me. 

As I listened to the words of the talks at church I wondered how I could change my attitude, what is it that I could remember about Christ that would help me enjoy Christmas? 

I realized that for me, Christmas needs to be more about remembering that Christ's atonement allows me to be who I am - imperfect and messy. All too often I (and I think many Mormon people) forget about grace and mercy. We should be trying to improve in ways that are realistic and compassionate to ourselves, but we should just fall on our knees and worship God because of his grace and mercy. This great plan of God's is full of love. His love allows wiggle room, not a perfect repayment of all we owe him; as if that were ever possible. 

I need to take time to just revel in the grace that Christ's atonement allows me in everyday life. Instead of feeling that I have to spend every moment in "worthwhile pursuits" I can stop and smell the roses, take a walk, read a book, or just stare at my kids playing with their presents under the Christmas tree. 

Christ came to this earth as a helpless dependent baby. Even in this he was the perfect example. He showed us that it was not sin to need another person as he needed his father and mother. Christ shows me that it is needful and necessary to depend on others, especially Him. 

 

Guess what we got today...

This last pic looks like the cargo hold of the space shuttle.

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We also got lots and lots of this:

    

  

X-mas Etc.

The new oven is here, and heating up. It looks similar to the old oven. Somehow I still can't get excited about cooking dinner. Maybe I need new shoes to wear while I make dinner on my new stove?

 

On Sunday, when I was asked to speak at a meeting, the person asking me said that when they think of me they think of the scriptures. That was surprising. It was flattering though. I hope she meant it in a spiritual way - not that I'm bulky and add too much weight to her church bag. 

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It is really hard for me to shop for family members who are far away. I love thinking about all of you, and about what you'd like but it makes me sad to know that I won't be there to watch you open the gift or see you use it. Not to mention the fact that I could be so out of touch with you that the gift I get is one you already have or don't really want. I love giving gifts, but this long distance stuff just sucks. It sucks big time. So don't be mad at me if your gift arrives at the last minute. It's just me procrastinating because I miss you. 

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When I was a kid I hated it when adults would shorten Christmas to X-mas. It literally takes the Christ out of Christmas. But in this world where so few people don't have Christ at the center of their Christmas celebrations it seems very fitting. 

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I'm trying to think of what I should do tonight to get a little more Christmas spirit. The kids want to build the gingerbread house. That's all well and sugary, but doesn't really promote peace on earth and good will towards men (fighting over candy). How about driving around to see Christmas lights? Will that just result in fighting in the car? Then again, usually the last thing DH wants when he gets home from work is to turn around and walk out the door again. 

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Actually it's library bookgroup tonight. I haven't even thought about getting the book. With everything going on (lots and a final exam on Friday) I get the feeling I just have to let that bookgroup slide. I wasn't thrilled about the books anyway (tonight it was Revolutionary Road). 

 

Right now I'm reading Big Rock Candy Mountain by Wallace Stegner and A Christmas Carol by Dickens. I'm enjoying both. Actually, I'm surprised at what an enjoyable read Christmas Carol is, usually I find writing from that time period to be stuffy. Dickens does funny rambling asides, kind of like me. At least the rambling part. I bought a really cool book for the family for Christmas, but I don't want to ruin the surprise so I won't say what. I might have to go into the closet and read it before I wrap it.

 

Tonight I'll probably just stay home and study for that exam. 

jingle bells batman smells 

Happy Thanksgiving

This is especially applicable today - my oven is broken! HA! 

*may be offensive to some viewers, a bit o' language and blood- but all in good taste as MP always is ;)

Thanks for... Everything!

Today I found it difficult to come up with a post. Not that I didn't have anything to be grateful for, but that I have so much to be grateful for. There are posts waiting to be written about my gratitude for books, music, food, my husband, etc. But for today, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, it just seemed too narrow-minded to post one of those.

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I am grateful for my sister's blog post yesterday. In it she mentioned the idea that we are not entitled to anything. It reminded me of a scripture in Mosiah. King Benjamin tells us that if we were to praise and give thanks to God all our days we would still be unprofitable servants. He tells us that God gives us everything, and then if we obey his commandments we are blessed more. We can never pay God back for what he has given us. We will always end up owing him. 

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This scripture used to make me feel guilty. Now, I know that isn't the reason for this scripture. It is to encourage us to recognize the hand of God in our lives. To give us the knowledge that nothing is truly "ours" so we should share our bounty with others. To show us in a very real way that we never do anything for God- He loves us so much that he is still willing to bless us even when we will never profit him anything. This also shows us, by God's own example, that we are to serve others without thought of recompense. When I view my life with this perspective I am in awe.

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Just today God blessed me with a loving family; ears to hear their voices as I awoke this morning, and eyes to see their beautiful faces (once the great invention of contact lenses were inserted in my eyes). My children and I had a bounty of food to choose from for our morning meal, which we ate in warmth and security in our more than adequate abode. We dressed in fine clothing for church and drove our own car to the church building, where we worship freely without fear of government or societal repercussions. We were all taught by men of God during sacrament meeting; where we took part in the sacred ordinance of the sacrament, the greatest blessing of this holy day. We studied the words of God, which greatly bless and enlighten us. We talked of the temple which will soon be built nearby, what a wonderful blessing! 

(The PA temple may have a similar design to this one, Hong Kong.)

During the last hour of church I sat in a lesson with my Spanish-speaking sisters where the example of their brilliant faith made me stronger and where I felt the truth of their words through the Holy Ghost before I even heard the English translation. The lesson reminded me of the great work performed by Joseph Smith, which continues to bless people with the knowledge of their Savior, Jesus Christ. I was blessed with love as I participated with my hermanas in the Latin tradition I have learned of embracing and kissing each other on the cheek. My children then emerged from their classes where wonderful men and women had selflessly taught them the gospel, and fed them cake!

 

(The Sacred Grove)

Do you see what I mean? It is just so much! 

This feeling I have, being blessed with the holy spirit, comes to me because I am grateful. Proving King Benjamin right, that we can never truly and fully profit God. But I will continue to try. 

Thanks for... Elaine Dalton

Who is Elaine Dalton and why in all the big world should I be so grateful for her?

Elaine Dalton is a leader in the LDS church. She is specifically the world-wide leader for the young women of the church, girls 12-18.  Her title is General Young Women's President. Considering that the Mormon church now has over 10 million members throughout the world, her position is very respected. Yesterday I was able to meet and talk one-on-one with her for just a few moments, which was a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

Last night was a YW program for a congregation nearby (but not the one I attend weekly). The program is called Young Women in Excellence, where the young women's accomplishments for the year are reviewed and praised. Sister Dalton attended and spoke at this intimate meeting. There were only about 25 people there. It was an opportunity that I wish every young woman and  leader could have. But because not everyone does, I want to share my feelings about the experience. 

As she bore personal witness to the prophetic calling of President Thomas S. Monson I felt the quiet yet very powerful peace of the Holy Ghost. She shared personal experiences she has had with President Monson that witness to her that his calling is from God. The work she does allows her to be with President Monson often and so her testimony of his calling is special. Hearing her express this belief made my own belief stronger. 

When Sister Dalton spoke of the greatness of the young women, of the wonderful program of personal progress that God has provided for them my heart was pricked. Although she never spoke specifically about mothering, I felt inspired to be a better mother. But not in a guilt inducing way. I felt that I am doing a good job as a mother, but I can do better, and now is the time. It invigorated me to improve in several ways. 

I need to help my daughter complete her personal progress goals. Yesterday I gained a greater understanding and spiritual confirmation that this program is not just good, but can be a source of strength to young women. This program is from God, it is NOT just a cute program, with nice ideas to keep teenage girls busy. It is God's way of leading youth through the troubled times in which we live. It is not a waste of time, or a pursuit of meaningless goals. It has the potential to change lives and alter the course of a young women's life - setting her on the path of success and faithfulness. My goal is to talk to my daughter each Sunday about her goals and do what I can to help her accomplish them. 

Another aspect in which I felt inspired to improve is in caring for the appearance of my home. I have not been able to keep a spotless home because of my health issues, but I haven't made the efforts I should either. And this isn't just about the house being clean, it is about providing an atmosphere in which my children feel loved, cherished, even royal. 

The decor and spirit of the event last night went hand in hand. Sister Dalton praised the leaders for the efforts they expended for the young women, that it expresses their love to the girls they serve. (The leaders made black silhouettes of each girl with an oval white mat and gold frame, these were hung on two gold wire trees, in between which was a B&W picture of the temple. There was a nicely framed B&W version of the YW theme as well as papercut silhouettes of temple scenes. The tablecloths were B&W in a damask pattern with gold accents. There were chair covers for the YW's chairs, and a pennant with the YW torch symbol in gold representing each YW. BEAUTIFUL!) 

This made me realize that what I do to make my home a nice place to be shows my love for my family. I recently heard that if we display children's artwork and portraits in our homes it shows them that they are highly valued. I haven't taken the time to display these things, although I value them very much. What I do to make my home special doesn't have to take a lot of money, or necessarily even time, but I do have to exert some effort and realize that it does have important meaning. Instead of recognizing this in the past I have discounted it as worldliness. There is a happy medium between the two.  So this morning I made myself clean before I sat in this chair at the computer. If I were to do this every free morning, it would go a long way towards improving our home. 

I want to share a scripture that Sister Dalton read to the young women. I've read this scripture many times but never did I think about it in the way I did last night.

 And again I would exhort you that ye would ^acome unto Christ, and lay hold upon every good ^bgift, and ^ctouch not the evil gift, nor the ^dunclean thing.

 And ^aawake, and arise from the dust, O Jerusalem; yea, and put on thy beautiful garments, O daughter of ^bZion; and ^cstrengthen thy ^dstakes and enlarge thy borders forever, that thou mayest ^eno more be confounded, that the covenants of the Eternal Father which he hath made unto thee, O house of Israel, may be fulfilled.

 Yea, ^acome unto Christ, and be ^bperfected in him, and ^cdeny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and ^dlove God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be ^eperfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.

Moroni 10:30-32

I won't share specifically what this scripture meant to me last night, I feel that is too personal for a blog entry. But I hope that as you read it something stood out to you also. The scriptures are a never-ending blessing. 

When I had a moment to speak with Sister Dalton she praised me for wearing my Young Women Recognition pendant. Hers was strung on a long beautiful gold and pearl necklace. She spoke of the changes in the personal progress program (adding virtue as a value) and the new, soon to be released, personal progress booklet. The changes they are making helps me feel that our leaders do understand the challenges we are facing, and that God is inspiring them with ways to help us and our children. 

Sister Elaine Dalton is a wonderful example to me as a mother and leader. She has a special testimony to share and I was blessed to hear it. I will also be taught by Sister Dalton and other leaders this afternoon. What an opportunity. I know that in receiving this special opportunity I am obligated by the Holy Ghost, who bore witness to me, that I need to share my testimony of this experience with others.

 Sister Elaine Dalton is called of God and serves him in a humble yet powerful way. I am so grateful for her influence today. 

Thanks for... Family Life

It is good for families to be more than just people who live in the same house. This takes so much focus and effort! And for me, it took listening to advice from people wiser than I am. 

Grandma D. told me once, when my oldest was a toddler, that I should pick my battles carefully. Not to tell the child "No" if I wasn't willing to stand my ground, even in the middle of the most ferocious temper tantrum. This was great advice. I haven't done it perfectly, but I do my best and it helps me discipline and love my kids. 

Grandma M. on the other hand didn't give me blatant council, but she made her theories on child-rearing very clear. Children should be taught to work. No if's, and's, or but's. When we lived with her and my Grandpa for a year when I was 10, every member of the family had chores. My older sister and I took turns sweeping the kitchen floor and vacuuming the carpet. In relation to both jobs I received detailed training and instructions as to how to do it properly. We also were sent to clean out the clinkers, I don't remember doing this much more than once - we may have botched the job horribly. Something that strikes me about all of these chores is that some would say they were beyond my abilities at that age. But Grandma knew we needed to work and those things needed to be done. We learned to do them by doing it. 

A huge part of my life right now is being a stay at home mom. (I hate the term "housewife" as I did not marry the house, I married my husband, I do not serve the house, I serve those I love who happen to live in the house!) This job is not easy so, it isn't a path I would have naturally chosen. Especially in the culture we live now where 70% of women work outside the home. I chose to be a stay at home mom because I trust and rely upon the guidance of spiritual leaders. Not to say that I haven't studied it out for myself, I have, and found the benefits (more) to be something I wanted for my family. Of course another huge part of this is that I am blessed to have a husband who supports me in this endeavor in every way, including a salary that allows it. 

In our early years of marriage we both worked. We both came home exhausted, without energy or enthusiasm to care for our household, to eat healthy meals, or to plan. I have found that being at home I can support everyone in the family by facilitating the necessary processes of life (eg. schoolwork, laundry, planning, food, shelter, and love!) It would be very difficult for me to do these things for a family of 6 in the hours between 6-8 pm, which is what I would have to do if I worked. 

It does take sacrifice though. As I stand at the bus stop I notice that the other mom who waits there, who works outside the home, has really nice leather loafers,  a few rings on her fingers, and drives a nice SUV without 160K miles on it, like my decrepit mini-van. This family goes on wonderful vacations, their children go to after-school programs at their church community center, and participate in extra curricular activities that take a large monetary commitment, like football. There is no way I would say our family is "better" than theirs because I stay home, it's just different. It's different in ways that are priorities to me, so I'll continue to stay home to work. 

At mormonwomen.org today I've written about a little slice of our family life. 

I'm grateful to have a family-focused life. It fills my life with love and makes me happy.

Pumpkin Day

There are many opinions out there about the virtues and vices of Halloween. It is like many other things in life, it can be used for good or ill. 

The other day R. and I were listening to the radio in the car when a woman won free movie tickets. As part of the contest they asked what her favorite movie was. She said "Saw IV".  It stunned me - out of all the movies ever made in the history of forever her favorite movie was a disgusting horror flick? No offense to anyone I love, but if your favorite movie is a slasher flick (and a sequel at that) I will be re-thinking our relationship. At the very least I won't be spending the night at your house if power tools are anywhere within a 5 mile radius.

So yeah, the slasher flicks, haunted houses, and body parts hanging from trees as "decorations" aren't necessarily the good of Halloween to me. 

What is good is that at least this one time of year I refresh my sewing skills. It isn't necessary to sew the kid's costumes but I love to encourage their creativity and mine. We use what we have around, and usually don't go traditional. I still remember the year I spray painted two boxes and made myself a computer costume as a pre-teen. No one knew what I was but I was ahead of my time, now everyone has a computer! Thanks to mom and dad for supporting my crazy ideas.

Tonight we took part in another great part of Halloween, pumpkins! It is fun to go to the garden store and see all the varieties of gourds, squash and pumpkins. I hope this goes towards my children's appreciation of the bounty of the earth. All the richness God has given us, not just one kind of squash to eat but a multitude of colors and sizes, bumpy, smooth, ridged, long necked, or pock marked. 

 

 

 

 

 

Then there is the carving, we gather around the table and plot our designs. This year J. did the headless horseman head, upside down. He went with the marks already naturally occurring on the pumpkin and found an image there. He said the stem was where his neck broke off. That's a boy for you. A. carved a Pikachu because she got one as a reward at school today. R. did an intricate owl design. For Baby we opened the pumpkin lid and let her stick her hand in - such a face! Then I carved a smiling face on her small pumpkin. While Dad helped the kids gut their pumpkins I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It was a fun family night. 

 

So it's all in how you deal with the situation you're given. 

should be cleaning...

There is a meeting at my house tomorrow. So today I wrote "Clean!" on my calendar page. I found this stuff while I procrastinated instead-

Disgusting meat head for Halloween, or anytime you want to make your guests sick so they don't eat too much of your food.

Re-write your world.

Evil mad scientists share their wealth of knowledge with us all. 

Martha has us all beat at Halloween creativity, this is what happens when you have sweat shops of crafters at your beck and call. 

This is the ghost costume I'd like to make for J. But I don't want to pay for the pattern or kill myself following detailed directions. So we'll see how I can short-cut and guess my way through it. 

I've already started A's vampire costume. I did give in and buy a pattern, it's a cute princess pattern but I'm doing it in black. That's my way of dealing with the fact that A. doesn't want to be something cutsie this year. 

A geeked-out jack-o-lantern. 

OK, ok, I'll go clean now. 

I lie, I'm going to take a nap as soon as Baby dozes off.