Have you ever calculated your Body Mass Index? It is a number showing the relation between your height and weight which is used to clinically label a person underweight, normal, obese, or morbidly obese. They have BMI charts for adults and children of each gender. Just for a point of reference, my BMI is 30 - which means I am obese. Have you seen me lately? (pics of me here & article and pics about BMI)
A woman is her own most critical judge, but I would still not label myself obese. I workout for 45 minutes, three days a week and eat healthy. I feel that in this world where junk food surrounds us, I am doing a good job caring for my body. But there's still that number, my BMI, haunting me every time I go to the doctor. It's just something you have to swallow when you're already doing what you can. At least that's how I saw it until my daughter's doctor started talking BMI.
Two years ago my daughter had a physical. At that time the doctor very insensitively talked to me about my daughter's weight in front of her. It made me angry and my daughter was very quiet. Later I couldn't get a word out of her about it. Since then, and because of my health issues, we've been working to improve the entire family's eating habits with a focus on health, not weight.
This year I scheduled my daughter's appointment with a different doctor in the same practice, hoping to get a little more tact (both of these doctors are women, if that matters). It was wrong to hope. Despite my daughter's BMI ranking going down from her last physical the doctor didn't recognize the positive change. She talked about my daughter's weight at length, in front of her, while she sat there close to naked in a hospital gown. The doctor nit-picked for the rest of the appointment, commenting on things too personal for me to relate here. Then as the final kicker the doctor announced that my daughter would need blood tests because of her BMI. The stony look on my daughter's face broke, and she looked at me with eyes as big as saucers.
My daughter and I spent the rest of the evening in a dance of emotion. She refused to talk, we both cried, and I tried to find some way to salvage her self-esteem. Thankfully we had a supportive and loving family night so that by the time she went to bed there was a smile on her face. Not that that means all is well though. My heart aches for her, not only because of this issue, but because of all that she has to deal with. I feel a painful loosening of apron strings as my children become more independent, and thus more bare to the lashings of the world.
My daughter's blood pressure is normal and her BMI is under the recommended level for blood testing so I won't be putting her through that. (It seems like arbitrary punishment.) We're getting her a gift for Christmas that should encourage more physical activity (planned before the doctor visit). I'm readjusting my course as meal planner, to be sure that the meals my family eats are healthy. (Although taking stock right after Thanksgiving dinner is a bummer. The pie is officially gone now though.)
This little game of numbers is emotionally draining. All of my children eat the same meals, I even pack their lunches. My daughter and son play together and walk home from the bus every school day. My son has no BMI issues. Nagging my daughter about her weight won't make it better, negative feelings don't support and encourage change. I just don't know how to help my daughter realize that she lives by different body metabolism rules than her siblings without creating a downward spiral emotionally. And from where I'm standing now, her emotional health means more than that damned BMI.

