lajendi

BMI - Bunch of Misleading Information?

Have you ever calculated your Body Mass Index? It is a number showing the relation between your height and weight which is used to clinically label a person underweight, normal, obese, or morbidly obese. They have BMI charts for adults and children of each gender.  Just for a point of reference, my BMI is 30 - which means I am obese. Have you seen me lately? (pics of me here & article and pics about BMI)

A woman is her own most critical judge, but I would still not label myself obese. I workout for 45 minutes, three days a week and eat healthy. I feel that in this world where junk food surrounds us, I am doing a good job caring for my body. But there's still that number, my BMI, haunting me every time I go to the doctor. It's just something you have to swallow when you're already doing what you can. At least that's how I saw it until my daughter's doctor started talking BMI.

Two years ago my daughter had a physical. At that time the doctor very insensitively talked to me about my daughter's weight in front of her. It made me angry and my daughter was very quiet. Later I couldn't get a word out of her about it. Since then, and because of my health issues, we've been working to improve the entire family's eating habits with a focus on health, not weight.

This year I scheduled my daughter's appointment with a different doctor in the same practice, hoping to get a little more tact (both of these doctors are women, if that matters). It was wrong to hope. Despite my daughter's BMI ranking going down from her last physical the doctor didn't recognize the positive change. She talked about my daughter's weight at length, in front of her, while she sat there close to naked in a hospital gown. The doctor nit-picked for the rest of the appointment, commenting on things too personal for me to relate here. Then as the final kicker the doctor announced that my daughter would need blood tests because of her BMI. The stony look on my daughter's face broke, and she looked at me with eyes as big as saucers. 

My daughter and I spent the rest of the evening in a dance of emotion. She refused to talk, we both cried, and I tried to find some way to salvage her self-esteem. Thankfully we had a supportive and loving family night so that by the time she went to bed there was a smile on her face. Not that that means all is well though. My heart aches for her, not only because of this issue, but because of all that she has to deal with. I feel a painful loosening of apron strings as my children become more independent, and thus more bare to the lashings of the world. 

My daughter's blood pressure is normal and her BMI is under the recommended level for blood testing so I won't be putting her through that. (It seems like arbitrary punishment.) We're getting her a gift for Christmas that should encourage more physical activity (planned before the doctor visit). I'm readjusting my course as meal planner, to be sure that the meals my family eats are healthy. (Although taking stock right after Thanksgiving dinner is a bummer. The pie is officially gone now though.) 

This little game of numbers is emotionally draining. All of my children eat the same meals, I even pack their lunches. My daughter and son play together and walk home from the bus every school day. My son has no BMI issues. Nagging my daughter about her weight won't make it better, negative feelings don't support and encourage change. I just don't know how to help my daughter realize that she lives by different body metabolism rules than her siblings without creating a downward spiral emotionally. And from where I'm standing now, her emotional health means more than that damned BMI. 

Religious Freedom addendum

After posting Elder Oak's talk yesterday I open my newspaper this morning to find an article about the Prop 8 battle (gay marriage) being played out in Maine. Not all that surprising to find this continuing, but what was surprising to me was the wording of the ballot. It is so obviously biased, confusing, and contradictory I hope it will be legally challenged. 

Maine residents will vote Nov. 3 on the People's Veto, titled: "An Act To End Discrimination in Civil Marriage and Affirm Religious Freedom."

 The words on the ballot: "Do you want to reject the new law that lets same-sex couples marry and allows individuals and religious groups to refuse to perform these marriages?"

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In the car this morning I listened to 10 minutes of NPR (Radio Times audio file) where an evolution expert claims that there are small ignorant pockets of creationists but the majority of Americans agree that we are cousins to cats, bears, and monkeys. He was so blatantly insulting to any religious person I couldn't stand to listen any longer. It is simple hate mongering. In his book he compares creationists (those that believe God created the earth) to the holocaust deniers. In his words it's a "God delusion".

At the same time I have a hard time believing an educated man would really be so obviously hateful towards religion. I want to go back and listen just to understand how we can live on the same planet and so hugely disagree.  His words are so harsh that I feel his desire is not to create a real dialog and opportunities for learning but to promote his own celebrity and ego, and to justify his own atheistic beliefs. 

When in doubt, smack it!

We all do this. Something stops working - the TV, the car AC, your brain - so you give it a good smack to see if that will set everything right again. Sometimes it actually works. I remember regularly smacking our old TV set and actually retrieving the picture. I think it had something to do with the antenna, does anyone out there remember antennae? There were times it just made your hand sting enough that you didn't care about watching TV anymore though.

Now NASA has decided to give it a try. They're going to smack the moon. I guess the moon isn't working the way it used to. As far as I'm concerned the tides are on schedule and are alternating high and low. And I saw a pretty good-lookin' full moon just a few days ago. So I don't know what has NASA convinced that the moon needs to be set to rights. But then NASA has access to a lot more knobs, buttons, and flashing lights than I do, so I guess that means they can smack what they want to smack.

Smithsonian gives their two cents on smacking things here.

You can watch it happen on NASA TV tomorrow morning. Who knows maybe we'll really piss off the man in the moon and he'll whoop somebody's butt. Or maybe Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs will come true and we'll have fondue for breakfast in the morning.

Pain

My husband had physical therapy many years ago after knee surgery. He always told me that the pain of physical therapy was worse than the surgery itself. When my grandma and husband compared notes on physical therapy following surgery she heard his theory and laughed and nodded her grey head in agreement. Now it's my turn, although to a much lesser degree, as I'm not recovering from surgery.

I've been going to physical therapy (from here on out I'll refer to it as PT) for more than two weeks now. That also means that twice a day I've been doing exercises at home that the physical therapist instructed. I also ice my knees three times a day. So far I'm still not even walking for exercise, let alone running (yes I'm impatient), and have added Sciatica to my list of complaints. Know what they do for Sciatica? Give you more pain meds and send you to PT.

In the meantime my headaches are intense and daily despite the increased meds for those. I was supposed to call my neurologist to update him about how the meds were going anyway so I called yesterday. When I told the nurse that the meds weren't going well she said they had a cancellation so I went in. The results of the appointment were complete confusion .

The Neurologist doubted everything the Orthopedist recommended, including joint hypermobility and PT. Despite the Neurologist being more alternative and natural he sent me home with five trial medications and two new herbal supplements, in addition to the four I am already taking. Yes, that is ELEVEN all together. Granted it is a combination of cremes, patches, vitamins, and prescriptions but holy moley it is nearly impossible to keep it all straight when you have a headache! Of course he recommends acupuncture, theracane, hot rocks massage,....

 

 It turns me off when a professional disregards another professional's opinion without giving them the benefit of the doubt. My health is too important for the doctors' egos to be battling it out here.

I have to stand strong, because it is my body. I have to make my own decisions while they stand there with their egos and their certificates on the wall and their expensive educations. I have to say a silent prayer and have faith that what I decide is the right thing for myself and my family. I can't tell the doctors that my husband gave me a blessing so they should work together. And that my patriarchal blessing gave me a piece of counsel that is particulary fitting for the situation, so let's lay off the drugs. Or that General Conference is coming up and I'd really like them to watch so we can all be on the same page. Yeah, that's just not going to happen. I've got to be strong in my own convictions, if they all understand them or not.

Physically I just feel a mess. I don't understand how things could be getting worse despite my adherance to the protocols the doctors have set up, including medications. The worsening daily pain brings me to tears often. I am very close to my heating pads and ice bag. I chide myself for being melodramatic or gothic, but it is hard not to consider the long hard road after dealing with this for so long.

DH gave me a blessing a few days ago, it was encouraging, but it wasn't. As is usual for the blessings I've had related to this illness I was told that this is my trial and that I have things to learn. It is good to know that God has a plan. It is hard to think about pain tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow as a good thing. So I think about just tomorrow.

I think that good things will happen tomorrow to distract me from the pain. Like yesterday when Baby said so clearly to my friend, "Goodbye Nancy!" A new name to her repertoire, just like that. The fact that Nancy came over to talk because she needed comfort and I could give it - that felt so good.

That J. is getting 100% on his spelling tests without breaking a sweat. That's good.

To hear R.'s church leader say that she's seen her grow and change in such good ways since the summer. That's good.

For A. to make a hard choice between band or choir because I just can't manage both, when she's already agreed to give up girl scouts, but she doesn't pout, cry or make me feel guilty at all. That's good.

When DH is on call for work and his phone goes off all night waking me up, which also means he's waking up all night, and I bite his head off. He apologizes with half-closed sleepy eyes, and I apologize back. That's good.

So life is good, despite the pain.

National Parks by Ken Burns

Here's a reminder to watch the new Ken Burns documentary The National Parks on PBS. It actually started last night but I forgot to remind you.  If you missed the first episode in the series you can watch it online.

 I would be a different person without our family trips to National Parks.

I remember learning endurance when, as a tiny child, my parents tortured my small frail legs by forcing me to hike at Arches National Park. Only to then hike it as an adult and learn that I was being a whiner all those years ago. Then I saw the pictures and realized that they made me hike in a dress and then I  knew that they were mean!

We went to Yellowstone too, the National Park and an elementary school named after it. The paint pots were hysterically funny- What's not to love about a naturally occuring feature that smells and sounds like farts and makes bubbles?! Old Faithful Geyser is such a part of who I am that it is astonishing to me that my children haven't been there, how could I be so derelict in my parental duties? It is so fresh in my mind, but really it has been too long since I've felt the geyser spray on my face. The lake, the falls, the hikes that are too long because you want to see just one more rainbow pool. We've got to get back there.

I think it was there that my Dad first taught us about manners in nature. Pick up everything, but not the flowers. Stay on the trail. Don't touch animals, never feed them. Be quiet. Leave it better than you found it. These rules were sacred. I mean even more than when we were at home. I felt it when we were out there.

My parents were brave. There was a trip, in my faint memory, down to the dusty southwest. Mesa Verde and Carlsbad Caverns. Being the parent of children now I know they must have had a deep desire to see those places to be willing to drag four children along. It could not have been a picnic. At Mesa Verde there was whining about heat and lack of water. Now I wish, I really really wish, I could remember seeing it.

At Carlsbad my little brother freaked out so Mom spent her day sitting on the rim of the cave. Back then I didn't think a wit about what my parents were getting out of it. At Carlsbad I thought how cool it was to ride an elevator in a cave. Then I got chills, and not the scared kind, as I watched the bats rush out of the cave by the hundreds. When we got home I loved to tell my friends where I went on my summer vacation. Not to Disneyland, but to Mesa Verde and Carlsbad Caverns. It just danced off my tongue.

That's just a few I can think of this afternoon. Thank you to all of you co-owners in the National Parks. I've used more than my fair share of them in my lifetime, but I still need to see those Giant Redwoods and Yosemite.

Tell me, how have you used the National Parks? And which one do you want to see that you haven't yet?

Joint Hypermobility AKA double-jointed

I’m becoming an expert in hypermobility. More specifically joint hypermobility syndrome and the controversy over it’s seriousness. I’m here to tell you that I’m in pain everyday and it’s serious (not deadly serious though, lighten up!). Let me share a little with all of you, especially with those I am related to (maternally), because it is genetic.

First of all, what is hypermobility?

-Can you bend your thumb forward to touch the inner part of your forarm (or nearly?)?

-Can you bend your pinky finger back (the other way) to touch the top part of your wrist?

-Can you put your hands flat on the floor without bending your knees?

-When you put your legs straight do your knees bend backward slightly instead of being straight?

-When you straighten your arms do they bend inward slightly at the elbows?

If you have a few of these it can mean you have worked very hard to be a good gymnast/ ballet dancer, or that you have inherited, through genetics, a lack of collagen leading to loose connective tissues. This can make you more susceptible to injury because your joints lack a strong support structure. Some of the areas that are more likely to be injured are the areas that are more sensitive in every person: Achilles tendon (ankle), patellofemoral joint (kneecap), rotator cuff (shoulder), carpal tunnel (wrists/hands), lateral and medial epicondyles (elbow), and spine. Physically demanding activities will be even more demanding for people with hypermobility. Weird coincidence that I have problems with two of these areas...

Hypermobility brings an increased risk of early osteoarthritis (arthritis from overuse and age). Which makes complete sense. If you start off with less cushion for your joints, collagen, then it follows that yours would run out more quickly. So take it easy, and drink a lot of water, because that water goes to cushioning your joints too.

It has been found that as high as 27% of people diagnosed with Fibromyalgia actually have hypermobility syndrome. (There have been many studies done about the associations between the two, it is a complicated relationship) I won’t claim to know more than researchers  about cause and efffect, but I will say from my own experience that it was a huge fight to keep the label of ‘fibromyalgia’ off my chart when they couldn’t find an answer for my pain.

Only one Rheumatology textbook currently in print contains anything about hypermobility syndrome. So are family practice doctors also missing critical information about the real pain that hypermobility causes? Not all people with hypermobility have pain, for some they can go their whole lives with no pain, others are in pain every day. There is still so much unknown about this disorder and why there is such a great difference in pain levels.

So even though it was cool in grade school to freak out people with your special skills, now it is a liability. Those special tricks could just earn you an extra day or two of arthritis down the road, or even pain tomorrow. The good thing is that it does not effect life expectancy or result in any life-threatening complications. If you hurt, ice it, take a pain reliever (aleve, tylenol, ibuprofen) use icy-hot and see about getting a physical therapist who knows something about this syndrome.

Now that I know more I think about how to buckle baby into her carseat without locking my knees and leaning over, putting stress on my kness. I wonder about wearing my wrist braces during the day. When I'm writing at the computer I get up and walk around more often. But honestly, I cried today because I really hoped that the Orthopedist would have a quick fix and I could get back to running. But instead it was just the news flash that I'm human and my body is wearing out. Silly cry baby, I know. 

　

*Warning- If you look for information on this condition on the internet prepare to find contradicting information. Many of the medical websites that I have trusted for medical information in the past (webMD, mayoclinic, clevelandclinic) only have information about joint hypermobility as it relates to children. They do not address joint hypermobility and the pain it causes for aging adults. In  recent scholarly writings there is admission that those previously held beliefs are false. Joint hypermobilty does carry into adulthood and does result in pain. This I really liked.

　

The Orthopedist says...

I'll get right to the chase, the Readers Digest version, because today was the first day of school for the kids and I'm beat (if they went to school, why am I tired?).

Let's start with the loose joints. He pushed my knee cap way over with an amused look on his face, "This doesn't hurt?"

"Nope"

"Usually that hurts."

How am I supposed to know? This is the only body I've been hangin' out in. No one told me. Then as I laid on the table he lifted my leg by the toes,

"See how your leg kind of bends backward at your knee? It isn't supposed to do that so severely."

"Oh."

"Let's take some pictures."

In a flash he was gone and they were taking me to the x-ray room. They gave me some cool paper shorts to wear. I lie, they weren't cool. This fool was carrying her pants and  purse while wearing those paper shorts around the office. Thankfully I wore sandals, not running shoes with striped socks. Or heels, now THAT would have been ridiculous!

I wish my iphone camera was operational because they left me in the room with my x-rays forever. I could have shown them to you. After giving them a good once over, a good twice over, a good thrice over, I pronounced everything hunky dorey and thought I would be sent packing. The doctor disagreed with me, something about his medical training that gave him a more informed opinion, I guess.

(not my knee)

He said my knee cap (patella) is rubbing against my leg bone (femur), causing pain and even some bone spurs on the under side of the knee cap (patella). The technical term for this is Patellofemoral Syndrome. From what I have read it is the most common injury for runners and should be remedied with physical therapy. I think it is uncommon for someone to have it in both knees at the same time, which is why I threw everyone off initially.

My knee caps also ride high. I bet that's fun for them.

I have a ton of questions which the good doctor avoided, referring me to the physical therapist. That party will start next week. Order up the balloons and cake, I like buttercream frosting.

The Study of Behavior

Even though I'm on vacation I have been studying for a final exam. The course is Writing for the Social Sciences, and as part of the course I wrote a research paper about adolescent psychology. Tomorrow, when I take the final (on vacation) I will be required to write a memo reflecting on my research paper.

Honestly since writing that paper I have become more cynical about psychology's ability to help teenagers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not throwing out the whole profession or even the theories. It's just that I see the holes more clearly now.

When I spoke to the Adolescent Psychologist on my jury about her profession she nearly told me to run the other way.  She said that counseling troubled teenagers is a fruitless endeavor- that most of their issues come from the messed up families they live in. When I asked about the usefulness of family therapy she said that the parents blame the dysfunction on the teens so nothing ever changes, even in that setting. Great view of the world isn't it?

So that left me thinking about sociology. Could changes be effected in society that would make for stronger families, and thus individuals?

In the end that thought is all backwards. It isn't society that makes families strong - it is strong families that make a strong society. (Although strong families do need the structure of a good government to succeed.) That led me back to a well-used quote from Elder Packer, "True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior."

So here I am, an LDS woman, becoming a psychologist. How do these ideas gel? If I truly believe this quote then my time and energies would be best focused on teaching the gospel. Yet, in our little struggling branch I feel overwhelmed and unsuccessful at helping people change their lives.

To me, some concepts of the gospel are hidden within psychological theories (naysayers would say the opposite is true). So in being a psychologist you are, in a way, sharing true doctrines; which then, if understood by the client, changes their behavior (if it brings forth good fruit...). Can we then admit to a connection between psychology and church work? I know, reaching too far probably, but I'm just trying to figure out how to get a paycheck while helping people. The limitations of this world are just holding me back ;)

BTW- that talk by Elder Packer is a great one. I didn't set out to read it tonight but it lifted my spirits and gave a little enlightenment.

Misc

Weeds are OK in your lawn! Although I did give in to DH's desire to assimilate into suburbia by having the front lawn treated. I apologize for my hypocrisy.

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Checking on Nie Nie now and then amazes me.

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Another political news story worthy of a rant. Obama makes an ethics law, involving the elimination of conflict of interest at government agencies. Then he appoints a man to head NASA that requires a waiver, because of a conflict of interest. So the law is good only when it doesn't get in your way, I guess.

Oh, then there is the whole issue of Bill Nelson, a democratic senator from Florida, threatening to throw a tantrum if the president didn't pick his friend for the NASA position while actively campaigning against other candidates.

This article doesn't mention the conflict of interest at all, gotta love the media.

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There has been another doctor appointment. I met with a new neurologist (actually a physician's assistant) on Saturday. Leaving the appt DH and I agreed it was a huge improvement over my last neuro.  He was not extreme, not postulating on an overall diagnosis at the first appt like alot of drs have tried. Several things came of this appointment. 

The diagnosis I received many years ago (16) of TMJstill holds true. When the neuro held my hands on my tempromandibular joint and I felt the major movement, that he said is not supposed to exist, I realized there was a problem. When I received my TMJ diagnosis way back when, I was told it would be over a thousand dollars to treat it and we were poor college students. I actually cried when I left that dentists office, knowing that I would just have to suffer the pain for a very long time. When DH's uncle, a dentist, adjusted my bite and took out my wisdom teeth it helped so much (Thanks!). But now more is known about the condition, more treatments are available, and I now know that normal jaws shouldn't move like that.  The neuro said this won't solve everything but could very likely help. He encouraged me to get a professionally made mouthpiece to wear at night, I hope our dental insurance will cover it. 

This was interesting to read, though I won't count on a whole body healing for me(from here): "There is no doubt that TMJ dysfunction can have far-reaching effects, even to the point of involving peripheral circulation and paresthesias. S. D. Smith reported a case where major improvement in leg circulation directly corresponded to balancing a left TMJ compression through jaw repositioning."

The other interesting thing to come out of the neuro appt. is that I had been taking two drugs that make me stupid! So I have an excuse :)  Seriously, both of the drugs I had been taking have the side effect of "Memory loss, problems concentrating, or slow thinking" (see, I told you = stupid).  The PA explained that the medications were both at low doses so I was getting minimal benefit with maximum side effects. So I'm not taking the least effective of those two medications now. Just for any of you out there on meds, FYI the drugs in question are Lyrica and Topamax. For help with another troublesome side effect he counseled that Miralax is a great laxative if you need it on a daily basis to counteract drug side effects. TMI? Just trying to be helpful.

Upcoming- EMG on my hands to check for nerve damage. And, one day I will have a positive attitude about Rheumatologists again, and make an appointment with a third. My PCP is encouraging this, obviously I'm discouraged.

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BOOKS!

There is much going on in the world of books, probably because I aren't stoopid anymor. My reading had slowed to a crawl, it was just too difficult. It took me almost a month to finish Run by Ann Patchett.

It wasn't as enjoyable as Bel Canto, her first book, but it is worth reading. I wish she had spent just a little more time polishing it, especially the first half , it drags and the characters aren't solid. I really like the concept she plays with, that the chronology of events in our lives is complicated and cannot be undone. If you took away one bad action from your past, would it negatively effect the long term positive result of your life?

For years I've heard about The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. I read it in four days (see, no more dumb). 

This book seemed like two books smashed into one. It was a book about grief, about the things this woman thought, but never said out loud - the mind knots we tie ourselves into just to cope. That book, that I appreciated. And I celebrate her ability to write such raw honesty with the bravery to publish it. I can only imagine, as one who has in comparison suffered minor griefs, that her words bring comfort to many who suffer the same. There before the grace of God go I.

The other book within this book, I could do without. It was the elitist, self-circulating, snobbery that made me want to ask the author, so what? She name dropped like it was a Jeopardy round. And the casual mention of dropping tens of thousands on a house down payment made want to tell her to keep her finances to herself. All the trips, the wealth, 5 star hotel stays, the servants doing everything, inserting the names of her and her husband's books frequently into the text, all of it I could have done without and the remaining themes would have soared. The author had a great concern for not developing self-pity, maybe if her life weren't all about her it wouldn't be such an issue. The success of this book probably has only exacerbated her condition by telling her that her grief is worthy of worldwide attention, while millions of others suffer their grief in silence and poverty.  

Perhaps I'm still just the dumb youth, who hasn't experienced wealth or grief enough to understand Ms. Didion's whole point. Perhaps she meant it all to go together so as to echo her husband's thoughts about his life. He felt they were no longer having fun, that he had accomplished nothing; yet they both were well published writers and very wealthy. After his death she found a note in a computer file- "The concept of service." (p. 186) Yet, she never returns to the concept. (Am I too easily dismissing her service by way of writing this book?)

If you check a book out from the library too many times are you considered a stalker?After trying to be frugal, by checking it out again and again, I broke down and bought my own copy of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle.

Now I'm reading The Roald Dahl Omnibus, a collection of short stories.

Anybody read it before? R wants to read it too so I'm wondering if hidden in those thick pages there is a "R" rating? But if I let her read with me I'll just have to pry it from her hands when I want it. Let's make her wait. She loved BFG that he also wrote.

 

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For anyone who is great enough to keep reading through this bloated post, thank you. You must be the kind of wonderful soul who would do something nice for humanity. How about participating in the Cancer society's research, CPS-3?

Let me explain... my take on alternative treatments.

When people who care about me find out that I struggle on a daily basis to feel well they want to help. This warms my heart and I appreciate it greatly.

Often the suggestions that are offered do not fall under the guises of traditional medicine. That is OK, you know from reading this blog that I have tried acupressure, vitamins, Kelp, and had a midwife deliver my last baby through natural childbirth. I've more fully embraced organic vegetables, yoga, and the idea of a mind/body connection. So you know that I am open to less traditional means of treatment. There is, however, reason and method to how I go about making a decision of what to try and what to avoid. After all, this is my one and only body we're talking about, there aren't easily obtainable replacement parts.

Knowledge is power, so the first thing I do is read up on the treatment. I do put trust in empiric research. If the first thing the guy touting your product does is dis research, then he's not my guy. Research makes sense, it's 'try it to see what happens and keep records along the way'. Sometimes those in the alternative community treat those in the research community like the boogey man, like anyone who has a diploma is out to get them. Someone who has a diploma has dedicated themselves, responsibly, to the field and deserves some respect. If the person who is selling your product refuses to put it through the process of empiric research and vigorous testing then I'm dubious of it's safety and validity and I'm not willing to put it into my body.

For those who say the traditional medical community is against alternative treatments- I'll point to recent trends in the medical establishment of acquiescing to acupuncture and massage as supplemental treatments for treating Fibromyalgia as one example. Money and support are going towards alternative therapies. So the argument about big brother being against alternative treatments just doesn't hold water anymore.  Not to mention the fact that just last year my Rheumatologist strongly recommended I take a vitamin D supplement, something that may have been seen as 'alternative' 10 years ago.

I believe there should be a system as to how we receive medicine and health care, there needs to be order, not chaos. It creates safety, it is harmony and wisdom. It will not be a perfect system, as we are not perfect human beings. But we must work within it to improve it, not outside of it to tear it down.

Next I consider where I have to go to get the treatment. I believe God loves his children. I also believe if something is helpful to us, he tries to get it to us. My example of this is the gospel - you know with missionaries and the like. So I believe the same should be true for health care. (I'm not saying that I'm for socialized medicine.) If there were really something out there that would cure everything from Polio to Goiter to high cholesterol I think God would make it more widely available than for $49.95 through a limited distributorship.

My parents were involved in Amway for many years. I haven't asked their personal feelings about it, but looking back on it as their child, I have a few opinions. They became involved in it at a time in their life where they were looking to make things better for our family, they put a lot of time and money into the business. You know where the money went? Into the pocket of someone higher up the distributorship. Where did it get my parents? Tired. I have a bad taste in my mouth related to anything that is sold through a pyramid scheme, I mean, distributorship. I won't spend my money to support one, miracle cure or not. So if I can't get it in the health food store or drugstore, you're wasting your breath.

Lastly, I pray. If I do not feel a great prompting to try the treatment I won't. I may not be able to explain this to you or even tell you. That is just the way it is.

So that's how I feel about alternative treatments. It is really hard for me to explain these things to people who love me and offer treatments that they genuinely care about. I often do not explain the things I have just written out of fear of offending those that I care about in return. In the end it could be as simple as you getting a prompting when I didn't. God may know that the treatment will help your affliction when it won't help mine, it isn't for us to be offended at that.

In the meantime, if you really want to help, I sure would love a casserole.