We're fans of American Idol at our house. It seems silly to admit that we follow religiously and know who's who and how cruel Simon can be but have never voted. It's like we're consigned to the fate that Amercia thrusts upon us, or more appropriately upon the contestants. It's about as worthy of family viewing as anything out there, although we keep the >> on the ready for bikini girl and such nonsense. R's favorite group right now is Daughtry. I'm thinkin' David Cook sounds pretty good although I can't quite kick Sting off my #1 spot just yet. If he doesn't get rid of the Grizzly Adams look he'll be gone soon enough. Did you see this?
Did he get kicked out of the house or something? He looks homeless. But then I see this and he remains #1.
OK enough of worshipping false idols. Oh, hold on a minute..... .... Ok now I'm done. (I must apologize, I'm trying a new med today so I don't hold myself accountable for such silliness.)
Last night we were watching a DVR'd episode of American Idol and something stuck in my head. Simon asked someone, "Is this your passion?" I thought to myself, do I feel that way about anything? Would I stand in front of strangers and TV cameras with the possibility of crushing embarassment to give voice to my passion?
There are two things in my life that I would do that for; passions that are so embedded in my soul that any risk is worth it to give them wings- my family and psychology.
To some saying that my family is my passion is trite, so Polly Perfect and predicatable for a stay at home mom. I'm not following a set mold or trying to put on a face to impress. I honestly and truly feel intensely about being a wife and mother. I've shown my seriousness about these things by devoting my life to their fulfilment. But woman does not live by bread alone and this girl can't fill her soul with family to the exclusion of all else.
I have come to realize how much psychology lights my fire. It sounds crazy to say that I can't wait to counsel crazy people. Maybe my first client should be myself. I enjoy interacting with people, empathizing with thier circumstances, trying to see life through their eyes and imagining that I could say something, anything, to improve their situation in life. The theories of psychology capture my attention, I'm willing to struggle through reading professional lingo that I may not fully comprehend to stretch my mind around concepts about the mind and soul. It is interesting to find words to describe concepts I am familiar with but never was able to concretely name or describe.
As I write my research paper I am somewhat amazed at my growth in this field over just the last year. Reading a couple thousand pages and writing about a thousand more will do that for you. My research paper is required to be at least 10 pages long but as I write and research it's obvious that if I fulfill my outline I'm looking at 30 pages. Think I should curb my enthusiasm a little? I'm putting all my passion and desires for success into this paper. Creating a paper doll of passion, representing all I feel I can be if someone above is merciful enough to arrange the pieces into place so I'l be able to finish school and get a therapist's license. Some say having a goal and working towards it is more fulfilling than actually acheiving the goal. This will not be so for me, I want to help people. I enjoy learning but there is a purpose to it. I have no illusions about how difficult being a therapist will be, but for some reason, despite the fact that I've never done it and really don't know, I think I could be amazing at it.
So I say, "Simon, just give a girl a chance."
I can be your first client! I have plenty of stories to tell, or, if you need a someone to write a paper about, I can help you out that way too! ;) We love American Idol too, and that's the first I've seen the scruffy faced Sting. Hmmmm. I'm going to need some time to process that one.
Posted by: Sweet Escape | February 03, 2009 at 04:22 PM
It wasn't the beard that had me concerned about Sting as much as the Gregorian Chants and other prehistoric music.
I'm partial to my Keith anyway.
As for a passion, I too feel that way about being a wife and mother. We had better feel that way don't you think?
Even now, with my husband unemployed, I struggle with feeling like my going to work is giving up something more important for everyone here at home. It just doesn't function the same when I've worked in the past. Not that it's terribly "functioning" when I'm not working, but there is definitely a different feeling in my home and in my kids , and hubby for that matter, when I am home full time.
Are the new meds helping? I may be going back to OTC drugs as we won't have health insurance.
I'm going to find the "wolves" book tomorrow. Have you ever read The Red Tent?
Posted by: Harlene | February 03, 2009 at 10:41 PM
ooh, it's good to have a passion! I'm sure you'll be a fantastic therapist.
Posted by: Michelle L. | February 04, 2009 at 09:36 AM