Today I had a dental appointment. All of the kids also had the day off school. This may sound like a bad combination, but I did it on purpose so that R. would be home to take care of Baby and the gang, so I could actually go to the appointment. It wasn't until 9:45, totally do-able, especially considering I skipped my workout.
Anyone with kids knows that things happen. Things like poopy diapers. Things like mass riots. No matter how well you plan there will be unforseen events that make you late. I arrived at my dental appointment 15 minutes late. When I walked in the dentist's office Peggy, the unorthodox receptionist, exclaimed- "What happened to you!"
I smiled and said, "I have four kids."
They tried to call my cell phone to ask if I was on my way, but I didn't answer, so they called for another patient to come in my place (I left it at home, by accident I swear). In the end we worked it out so I returned during the lunch hour to have my teeth cleaned.
No harm, no foul, right?
Wrong.
The whole way home I fretted over my serious social faux paux.
It was BAD.
I was BAD because I was late.
There are things that we, as a society, have labeled as BAD. These things themselves are not just BAD, but the person who does these types of things are then labeled as BAD. Their whole being becomes BAD, every cell being saturated with the badness that enabled the accursed BAD act to happen in the first place. Think I'm being crazy? Let me give you a few more examples.
A dirty house is a definate BAD. You tell me one time you've gone to someone's house, seen disgustingness in their bathroom and it has endeared you to them. No way, I won't believe you even if you try to tell me. If you have a dirty house, and I don't just mean a few stray toys or dishes from dinner last night in the sink, I'm talking not vacuumed in a week, toilet not scrubbed, what is that crusted on the table kind of dirty. Even if the poor woman just gave birth to triplets you'll judge the husband for not keeping some resemblance of cleanliness.
What if you were a lunch room parent for the day and a child walked in with a huge frownie face and then told you her Mom only put a sandwich in her bag lunch. BAD! (or very pathetically poor) In reality this mother could have been in the middle of preparing the dear child's lunch when the child swiped it off the counter. Or the mom could have told the child that it was up to her to put in the drink, chips, granola bar and apple herself but she didn't want to. But no, we decide this mom is BAD BAD BAD.
I have no solutions to this issue. I just don't like it. I don't like that I do it to myself, nor do I like that I do it to others. Oh, and family may just be the exception to these social rules. As is the case with all social rules, my son and DH illustrate this at every meal with belching. Gotta love em'.
Is there something worse then bad? Is there a bad x3 for people who cant do anything right?
Posted by: Becky Smith | March 14, 2009 at 12:20 AM
Becky, was it one of those days?
I have a friend who is a juvenile probation officer who often puts things into perspective for me. She asks if any of my children have been arrested this week. When I answer, "No". She tells me I am a wonderful mother. What a great friend!
Posted by: jendoop | March 14, 2009 at 06:11 PM
I didn't think you had been to my house. :) Seriously, I have Grandma Morris counters if you know what I mean.
Steph
Posted by: Stephanie | March 14, 2009 at 09:02 PM
Hmm, I honestly don't think late=bad. I don't. And dentists are kinda mean.
Posted by: Michelle L. | March 16, 2009 at 03:20 PM
Steph, You've got to know how much I meant the family exception. It endears me to family members, because it is how you know you are related, we have the same kind of dirty!
Michelle, I think, looking back on this post, it was about how I hate feeling the social judgement and pressure from others. Then I do it to myself as well. Being late is such a minor thing, but I am too much of a people pleaser. Not to run on and on but, I get worried that what I do reflects on my family and on the church. Just a little pressure for myself there.
Posted by: jendoop | March 17, 2009 at 01:32 PM