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Computer dying.
DH performing first aid.
Leave for UT in 2 days...
Only the strong survive.
Send a strong person - ASAP!
Sent from my iPhone
June 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
Someone recently told me that I think too much. She said in a caring way that I should spend more time enjoying life and less time thinking about it. After my jury experience yesterday and a "discussion" with DH this morning I'm wondering if I should stop thinking all together. My over-thinking could be getting the in the way of a huge part of what I'm actually thinking about, communication.
Being one of the two hold-outs on a jury of 12 has made me question my ability to communicate and understand the outside world. How could 10 intelligent, capable human beings come up with a completely different answer to the trial than me? Did I sleep through something? Did I allow my emotions to be manipulated? Or was I blind to something that was completely obvious to everyone else? There was that one other juror, but she got out of there quickly, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her about our decisions.
This morning DH and I are discussing and preparing for our imminent departure for vacation. I will be gone for a long time, a whole month. I've never been away from home for a whole month but DH has experience because his family traveled alot. We talked suitcases, how many, what type, how much it costs to buy them and how much it costs to take them on the flight. So much to consider and a lot of different possibilities: carry-ons or large suitcases, 1, 2, or 3? Then baby's carseat, take it on the flight or check it? He has been on call for work all week and I've been on jury duty. It's tiring and frustrating for both of us. So waking up first thing on our day off and discussing such 'fun' things probably isn't productive.
But here I am, thinking. Thinking. THINKING. So much to be done, write a list, make a plan, but how do I do the best in every situation? Not possible, I know. But still, a girl's got to try!
While I consider all the options I miss out on actually acting. Spinning myself in circles. It might be a subconscious way to avoid responsibility for the ultimate decision. I don't want to be wrong, so I over-contemplate until I've beaten the mental issue to death. This might be necessary on a death penalty case for jury deliberation. But definately not necessary when deciding what suitcase to buy. So my fellow decision makers, DH, jury members, etc., get frustrated with my mental circles. And I can't blame them.
June 27, 2009 at 10:12 AM in crazy_, family, Live and Learn | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Whoa boy, what an experience. It was great, but I wouldn't sign up to do it again next month. They say if you serve more than 5 days on a jury you're exempt from duty for 3 years. I should be grateful it went on this long so I'm off the hook for a while. Oh, and after the 3rd day I started getting paid $25 a day instead of $9. That means I can finally go buy that bling (jewelry) I been keepin' my eye on. ha ha.
Now that I'm officially released I can spill my guts, so here goes:
This was a medical malpractice case. The boy who was the plaintiff got a corneal abrasion from his contact lens. When he visited this doctor at an emergent care center the Dr. gave 3 instructions; to get a prescription for steroid drops, to stop wearing contacts, and get a follow-up visit with an opthomologist ASAP.
Turns out these steroid drops lower your immune system so the boy developed a horrid bacterial infection in his eye in just 24 hours.
The doctor said the eye would have been fine if the boy had seen an opthomologist that evening. The mother claimed that the dr. didn't explain the urgency in visiting the O. There was soooo much testimony and questioning about what "ASAP" actually means.
The boy and his parents claimed that the Dr. should never have prescribed steroid drops to someone with a corneal abrasion, that it decreased his body's defenses at a time when he needed it most. The 4 experts that were brought in claimed that the standard of care for this condition was to give antibiotic drops, not steroid drops alone. Including the defense doctors.
Today the boy has a small corneal scar outside of his line of sight, which may have been smaller if not for the precipitating drops. There was alot of stuff thrown in there to prove how deliterious this injury was to the boy's life, so as to increase the expected award $$$. In the end it didn't make any difference because the jury found that the doctor was not negligent. Wanna guess my vote?
(painting by Chad Awalt)
I voted that the Dr. was negligent to the pressurized end of deliberations. The jury had to be at least 10-2. (In civil cases there is not as large a burden of proof as for criminal cases.) I was one of the two. In my opinion the doctor was negligent in giving the prescription he did, because all the doctors that testified said it wasn't the standard of care. Negligent = below the standard of care. We were supposed to make our decision only based on the information given us in the courtroom, but that isn't what happened. You could argue, why have a jury of peers if they'll do only that. Why not just have a computer spit out the answer? (It seems those lawyers may have rubbed off on me.)
I'm still amped up and emotional from it all. Not just the magnitude of taking part in something so important, but the intense discussion at the end. I spent 5 days with these people. We had lunches together, we talked during breaks, we walked to the parking lot together. From what I've heard of other's jury experiences, my jury was overly friendly. One of the courtroom helpers (called the Tip Staff, they get the jury anything they need and ensure nothing improper goes on, they were with us all week) was having her grandson taken care of by the same person who watched Baby for me on Tuesday. We made connections. So the jury had become friends and knew each other on a first name basis. Then today at 11:30 am, friendship over, gloves off, let's get out of here and get the weekend started.
There were so many things that went on during the week, a surprise tampering with the witness ploy, fellow jurors trying to talk about the case during lunch, getting sitters for the kids, finding my footing in the real adult world, trying to find enough decent clothes in my closet to wear 5 days without a repeat, you know.. very mind rattling situations. So I reserve the right to discuss those issues at length later. But for now I just want to get the weekend started.
June 26, 2009 at 09:43 PM in Current Affairs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
Our courthouse is under construction. This little tidbit didn't matter to me in the least until yesterday, when I sat in the courthouse all day. The part of the courthouse that I sat in was being torn apart, but still holding together enough to corral cattle, I mean, people. This area is also known as the jury selection room. No windows, one door, a few tables (one of them stacked with magazines), very little A/C, and a herd of chairs to match the herd of butts that would be sitting on them. Everything was worn and dirty. Not exactly a picturesque scene.
Now, I've never been one for a big ostentatious show. Sorry to say it, but even though some of my most cherished memories have happened in an LDS temple, they are still a bit too gilded for me. So as I walked into the courthouse I noticed the facade reminiscent of Rome, the marbled interior walls (14 feet tall, complete slabs, not tile), and the black marble drinking fountains. I considered if all of it is really necessary. We are in a budget crisis after all! They have stopped providing lunch for jurors and my pay per day is exactly nine bucks. That's not per hour, that's per day.
After the jury was chosen yesterday (moi included), we went down the elevator, from the 'lovely' juror selection room, to a floor that was still under construction but had a completed courtroom. The massive hall doors were walnut, flanked by walnut panels, inside of that there was a small foyer with a narrow window looking into the courtroom. From there we went into the courtroom.
I can't even fathom the number of walnut trees that gave themselves for this room to exist- Everything is walnut- benches, desks, dividing banisters, and the judge's stand. The places to sit that aren't benches are burgundy leather chairs with upholstery tacks glinting in the light. Sunlight beams through three narrow horizontal windows recessed into the artfully paneled wall behind the judge.
My entire demeanor changed when I entered that room. You can't deny the power of environment. The court assistants who had been just normal people hassling us while we were in jury selection, became ambassadors to this new respected world. They showed us the 14 imposing chairs upon a platform behind one of the solid wood banisters, and told us that those would be our seats.
We just looked. I think it was sinking in that we were part of what would happen in this room. The court assistants spoke about such mundane things as start times, parking, and lunch; like we were just going to have a normal day. Then one of them said, "Follow me, we'll show you the juror's room." We walked through a door set in the wall behind the judge's bench and sunlight flooded our eyes. This was a passageway sandwiched between the courtrooms and a solid row of windows, floor to ceiling, which look out on the county over which these courts preside. There was symbolism here that wasn't lost on me.
We, the jury, have entered another world where celestial light would be shed on the truth. It is for us to see clearly what that truth is. We are no longer lay people being hassled, we are jurors. And for the people in the courtroom, everything depends on us. Their long hours of preparation, their stress and anticipation, hang on our decision.
Every once in a while during the proceedings today I'd catch someone looking at me. It made me feel, again, the importance of my duty. The judge put it very well this morning when he told us that we enjoy great freedoms in this country, just look at what is happening in Afghanistan, Iraq, and on the streets of Iran. How wonderful it is for us, as American citizens, to have a government that does not treat us that way. We have such freedom in our lives. With those freedoms sometimes comes duty, for us at this time, it is jury duty. This really is a small price to pay to witness the judicial process.
When it is time for the jurors to leave that majestic courtroom someone with a booming voice says, "Will the court please rise until the jury exits." We all rise and file out, walking down that brilliantly lit hallway. Today the youngest man on the jury said, as we were making that walk, "I'm really getting used to everyone rising when I enter or leave a room!" Someone else joked back, "Don't count on that happening when you get back to work."
Maybe the gilding at the temple isn't too much after all.
June 23, 2009 at 10:29 PM in Current Affairs | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
Yep, I got the call. Today I waited. wait. wait. wait. It's such a good thing someone told me to take a book along. But after 100 pages in one day it was all I could stand. Then I played Boggle on my iphone. Then I talked to the guy next to me. Then we all sat in a sore stupor.
During the last stage of the wait, with questioning and interogations going on, the people behind me discussed how they should answer to get out of sitting through a trial. At first it bugged me. After all, the system works when everyone is honest. If you're twisting the truth the system is twisted too. But then I realized that justice is better served if the liars continue to lie and get themselves out of jury duty. In the end everything works out well because you have a jury of honest, justice loving people who understand their civic responsibility.
THEN they called the jurors. Out of 50 people on the panel I was one of the lucky 14 chosen for a civil case, 12 jurors with 2 alternates. After the 14 names were read and the jury stood, those not chosen erupted in applause. The guy next to me beamed and waved to everyone, happy to be on the jury and so proud they were clapping for him. I saw it another way- they were all cheering because it meant their long day was over and they hadn't been put on the jury.
I've been scolded just a tiny bit that I should have claimed hardship to get out of it- that my kids won't last without me. But I just didn't feel like it was justified. We'll ask friends and our 14 year old to take care of things for the next three days.
Tomorrow the trial starts. I'm interested to see how it all works out.
June 22, 2009 at 07:53 PM in Current Affairs | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
To the fathers in my life - my husband, my Dad, my Father-in-law, and Grandpa M. too:
Thank you for all you do, for the men you are, for your support (monetarily and otherwise), and your love. I wish fathers got as much attention on this day as mothers do on Mother's Day.
Our church talks today were mostly about our Father in heaven, who I'm immensely grateful for, but I wonder if it makes real-life fathers feel like they'll never measure up. Fathers are an integral part of the family unit, children thrive in a family with two parents. We should never downplay the importance a father in the life of a child. The reasons are endless and impossible to innumerate. These pictures say it better than I could.
Dads, you do matter! What you have accomplished for your families and with your families makes the world a better place.
Happy Father's Day!
June 21, 2009 at 11:40 PM in family | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
The birthday girl was so happy to have her big day on a Saturday - it meant that she didn't have to do her chores. It made little brother very jealous.
A Saturday birthday also means you get to party all day! We went to the primary activity in the morning (where they had ice cream). Then we went to an arcade/indoor fan park for fun and dinner (where ice cream came with every kid's meal). Then at home we had birthday presents, cake and ice cream (which the birthday girl didn't even want to eat after all the ice cream earlier in the day). I think the only thing A would do to improve upon the day is to open her presents first thing in the morning instead of waiting 'til after dinner.
Then again, anticipation is half the fun.
Let me explain that cake before you say I cheated my child. When I took A to the grocery store to pick out her cake (no, not homemade, not during this crazy weekend) they had a 'decorate your own cake' station for Father's Day. So A. made one for her birthday, and J. made one for Father's Day. They were both a single layer small heart-shaped cake, which works out well because then we don't get overwhelmed with cake. (I totally avoided a cake for my birthday, we had fancy desserts at a restaurant that we'll only go to for dessert because we're too cheap to pay for a full meal.)
In many ways A. is the heart of our family. She is very emotional, loving and sensitive. Sometimes it takes her reaction to me (tears or silence), for me to realize that I'm being a little harsh with discipline or the way I speak. We talk it out and in the end we're closer than before, and understand each other better. Throughout our life together I will learn alot from her.
She keeps me in check in other ways too - she remembers everything; what I need to get at the grocery store, what time our events are, and especially dessert. She does so well in school that all of her teachers have said she is a pleasure to have in class. Her personality is a contrast to her quiet older sister, she's such a social butterfly. Recently one friend has called A. on the phone nearly daily. Mostly A. listens, this doesn't surprise me, but I do remind her that she should get a chance to talk too. It is hard to teach about appropriate friendships without hurting feelings or being offensive.
We waited too many years (in my opinion) for A. to come into our family. I shed quite a few tears in the 5 1/2 years between R.'s birth and hers. When I became pregnant with her it was after discontinuing fertility treatments, we were taking a break. When I became sick and went to the Immediate Care I assured them that I wasn't pregnant. I still remember lying there in the dark exam room, stunned and crying, just after they told me in a matter of fact way that I was pregnant.
When A. was born the day after my birthday it seemed to be a recognition from God. That he knew my heartache and wanted to give us a child, when the time was right. Our family isn't conventional, but we're grateful God has had such a hand in how things worked out. I couldn't have planned it any better. Including this wonderful daughter, sent at just the right time to make our lives better.
Happy Birthday A!
June 21, 2009 at 10:10 PM in family, fun | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
This weekend is crazy! With my b-day, A's b-day and Father's Day one right after the other I feel like this is a ride that just won't stop. So A's proper Happy Birthday post will be tomorrow.
As for Fathers Day, well, let's just see if I survive it :) There will be a headache somewhere - between being lone woman on deck for Primary and a Guitar Hero gift for DH there's not a chance to avoid it.
Pray for my swolled cerebrum.
June 20, 2009 at 11:08 PM in family | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
This seems a fitting thing to do on my birthday. Considering that I'm only 36 years old today, it is strange to feel like the girls in these photos aren't really me. It is like a dream I had, or book I read. Yet I remember things about the photos that are intimately a part of my psyche. A tablecloth from my 2nd birthday hung around our house well into my teen years. A book I was given on another birthday was well loved and worn by the time it was dispatched. I remember the pioneer dress in my 1st grade picture, I think I even wore it with a bonnet for a pioneer day celebration at church. And those hairstyles, whoa boy, they were crafted out of the finest of my teenage years, as silly as they may look.
For today there isn't a picture. Though I did get a whole makeover of sorts - highlights in my hair and a cut, went to the mall and bought a new shirt or three. The gifts were overwhelming, as well as the happy wishes through email, phone calls and facebook, Thank You! I am very blessed and happy in my life. So much so that it feels impossible to take it all in and enjoy it. Like my eyes aren't big enough to capture the moment, much like a camera lens never catches the totality of the experience it records either.
my mom pregnant with me
2nd birthday
3rd birthday
First grade
Jr. High
9th grade
10th grade
11th grade - Master's Award
Engagement photo
At a wedding June 1997
By the highway in Utah, 2005
Ready to burst with Baby, Mother's Day 2007
2009 with Baby
June 19, 2009 at 10:59 PM in family, Live and Learn | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)
If your family picks stawberries,
you'll eat a ton.
When you eat a ton of strawberries and there are still so many left
you'll make stawberry freezer jam.
When you mash up the strawberries for freezer jam you realize,
you'll need pectin to go with it.
When you go to buy pectin and come back home to finish the jam
you'll need a stool to keep standing at that late hour.
When you're finally done with the jam
you'll realize it really should be spread on homemade rolls.
When you think about making homemade rolls
you'll need to go to bed because that's crazy.
When you wake up the next morning,
you'll remember that you want to make homemade rolls.
When you make rolls your feet remind you that they worked too hard the day before so,
you'll need that stool again.
When you sit on the stool making rolls with 2 little helpers,
you'll wish your rolls were normally shaped.
When you sit down to eat your abnormally shaped rolls,
you'll realize it's dinner time.
When you elict the help of oldest daughter to make dinner,
you'll get a really crazy kitchen.
When dinner, rolls, and jam are made,
THEN you'll sit down to eat.
YUM!
(By the way, if this makes no sense to you, grab a kid and read If You Gave a Mouse A Cookie.)
June 18, 2009 at 08:59 PM in crazy_, family, food, fun | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)