Someone recently told me that I think too much. She said in a caring way that I should spend more time enjoying life and less time thinking about it. After my jury experience yesterday and a "discussion" with DH this morning I'm wondering if I should stop thinking all together. My over-thinking could be getting the in the way of a huge part of what I'm actually thinking about, communication.
Being one of the two hold-outs on a jury of 12 has made me question my ability to communicate and understand the outside world. How could 10 intelligent, capable human beings come up with a completely different answer to the trial than me? Did I sleep through something? Did I allow my emotions to be manipulated? Or was I blind to something that was completely obvious to everyone else? There was that one other juror, but she got out of there quickly, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her about our decisions.
This morning DH and I are discussing and preparing for our imminent departure for vacation. I will be gone for a long time, a whole month. I've never been away from home for a whole month but DH has experience because his family traveled alot. We talked suitcases, how many, what type, how much it costs to buy them and how much it costs to take them on the flight. So much to consider and a lot of different possibilities: carry-ons or large suitcases, 1, 2, or 3? Then baby's carseat, take it on the flight or check it? He has been on call for work all week and I've been on jury duty. It's tiring and frustrating for both of us. So waking up first thing on our day off and discussing such 'fun' things probably isn't productive.
But here I am, thinking. Thinking. THINKING. So much to be done, write a list, make a plan, but how do I do the best in every situation? Not possible, I know. But still, a girl's got to try!
While I consider all the options I miss out on actually acting. Spinning myself in circles. It might be a subconscious way to avoid responsibility for the ultimate decision. I don't want to be wrong, so I over-contemplate until I've beaten the mental issue to death. This might be necessary on a death penalty case for jury deliberation. But definately not necessary when deciding what suitcase to buy. So my fellow decision makers, DH, jury members, etc., get frustrated with my mental circles. And I can't blame them.
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