Utah is the place of my fathers, where my parents grew up, their parents grew up, and mostly where I grew up. Our family hasn’t been there in 3 years, and that is a long time for my kids. A child was born and my other kids changed in that time; they didn’t remember anyone who didn’t visit us in Pennsylvania. For me, because I’ve got more time under my belt and don’t want the years on my face, 3 years didn’t seem as long. I did yearn to go back though. It was interesting how many things changed, and how the familiar had an odd aftertaste. The places were warm and comfortable, like an old pair of jeans that fits again- Provo was still a college town with great Indian food and the familiar campus. But there wasn’t a person on campus that would recognize me, even my independent study professors know me by name only. As more years go by fewer people give me hugs when I visit my old church congregation, or my grandparent’s little town. Time marches on, on and on, through our mind, making memories we hold on to so desperately that the details ooze out. Seeing places and people familiar my consciousness is awakened, remembering the details of the sweet memories and rekindling relationships. While it was fun to see the places where I had great times, it isn’t really about the place. It is the place that helps me retrieve memories full of emotion and hope. While far away from those places I remember the good times, the ones I want to regain. They say that’s why women have more than one baby, they can only remember the good parts of pregnancy and birth. It is like that, only when I'm in Utah do I see the imperfections and recall the unpleasantness of the past. This doesn’t completely sully the experience for me, it just reminds me that the past wasn’t so grand that I would trade the present for it. There are the people too. Being in a familiar place brings the memories, and we long for the people who made the memories with us. Our vacation lasted a month, the first two weeks DH was there. The second two weeks DH had to return for work and a business trip. The first two weeks I had barely a thought about PA. Is it only coincidence that I got homesick during the 3rd and 4th week when DH was absent? We associate people and places so synonymously with each other that we think we miss the one when we really miss the other. Places are beautiful, amazing, and grand - but people are better. Maybe we’d nurture our relationships more if we realized it. So while I start anew on my count of days away from the homeland, I’ll try to remember that it doesn’t have to tug at my heart so tightly. If I keep close to the people and memories I hold dear the heartache will be lighter to bear. I always have those, no one can take away my memories or the relationships I hold dear. Only I can do that by failing to record the memories and neglecting the relationships. We have to keep both alive through our own efforts. It is about what we do now. It reminds me of that silly saying: Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.