BMI - Bunch of Misleading Information?

Have you ever calculated your Body Mass Index? It is a number showing the relation between your height and weight which is used to clinically label a person underweight, normal, obese, or morbidly obese. They have BMI charts for adults and children of each gender.  Just for a point of reference, my BMI is 30 - which means I am obese. Have you seen me lately? (pics of me here & article and pics about BMI)

A woman is her own most critical judge, but I would still not label myself obese. I workout for 45 minutes, three days a week and eat healthy. I feel that in this world where junk food surrounds us, I am doing a good job caring for my body. But there's still that number, my BMI, haunting me every time I go to the doctor. It's just something you have to swallow when you're already doing what you can. At least that's how I saw it until my daughter's doctor started talking BMI.

Two years ago my daughter had a physical. At that time the doctor very insensitively talked to me about my daughter's weight in front of her. It made me angry and my daughter was very quiet. Later I couldn't get a word out of her about it. Since then, and because of my health issues, we've been working to improve the entire family's eating habits with a focus on health, not weight.

This year I scheduled my daughter's appointment with a different doctor in the same practice, hoping to get a little more tact (both of these doctors are women, if that matters). It was wrong to hope. Despite my daughter's BMI ranking going down from her last physical the doctor didn't recognize the positive change. She talked about my daughter's weight at length, in front of her, while she sat there close to naked in a hospital gown. The doctor nit-picked for the rest of the appointment, commenting on things too personal for me to relate here. Then as the final kicker the doctor announced that my daughter would need blood tests because of her BMI. The stony look on my daughter's face broke, and she looked at me with eyes as big as saucers. 

My daughter and I spent the rest of the evening in a dance of emotion. She refused to talk, we both cried, and I tried to find some way to salvage her self-esteem. Thankfully we had a supportive and loving family night so that by the time she went to bed there was a smile on her face. Not that that means all is well though. My heart aches for her, not only because of this issue, but because of all that she has to deal with. I feel a painful loosening of apron strings as my children become more independent, and thus more bare to the lashings of the world. 

My daughter's blood pressure is normal and her BMI is under the recommended level for blood testing so I won't be putting her through that. (It seems like arbitrary punishment.) We're getting her a gift for Christmas that should encourage more physical activity (planned before the doctor visit). I'm readjusting my course as meal planner, to be sure that the meals my family eats are healthy. (Although taking stock right after Thanksgiving dinner is a bummer. The pie is officially gone now though.) 

This little game of numbers is emotionally draining. All of my children eat the same meals, I even pack their lunches. My daughter and son play together and walk home from the bus every school day. My son has no BMI issues. Nagging my daughter about her weight won't make it better, negative feelings don't support and encourage change. I just don't know how to help my daughter realize that she lives by different body metabolism rules than her siblings without creating a downward spiral emotionally. And from where I'm standing now, her emotional health means more than that damned BMI. 

Comments

[readerMom]

1.

Um, switch practices? That is horrible, I feel bad for her.

[Dani]

2.

I am sorry to hear about all of this Jen. My girls BMI, w/o telling which girl are; overweight, normal and underweight. I too am considered obese as well as my poor Hubby who hauls around cameras and tripods and bags of mysterious lenses and such. I have taken 4 Nutrition classes in the past few years on my slow boat through College and each has left me with a different opinion. BMI is a guideline not an absolute. It is imperfect and like most data can be skewed to present good or bad. Like an exit poll. Percentages can be funny. Personally I think children, to some extent, should not be held to something like a BMI. I think it causes more harm than good.
I don't want to sound like a snob or that I think you and I parent better than others but, would it hurt to acknowledge the parents who are good caretakers of their children's nutrition? We watch what our children eat, they are physically active, healthy and happy. Why not look at other common sense "Mom" things. Those little things we know intuitively about our children... He/She is built like so and so who slimmed down when they hit puberty but has to stay a bit more active as an adult... He/She always gains about 5lbs before growing and inch or two, I better start looking for clothes! He/She has a slow metabolism like my Mom, not a set back but a challenge, maybe we should try swim lessons...
I worry about Doctors who loose sight of the blessing our children are to us and the world. Would it really have been so hard to take you aside and address her concerns?
Sorry, I didn't mean to turn my comment into a rant. I have been reading your blog for a few months now and I love reading between the lines. I can tell you are a good Mom. What I really want to say is you and your Daughter shouldn't worry. Find a new Doctor, if possible. Keep on being the positive role model that you are and I know she will turn out great.

[jendoop]

3.

Thanks Kathy and Dani for your support. I hesitated to post this, because it is personal to my daughter. But I feel that I treated her respectfully.

It is hard to stand your ground with ideas like this. While I don't completely disagree with the doctor (you're right Dani, BMI should just be a small part of the overall picture of my daughter's health - not the main event), we do have different perspectives on how important it is. To the doctor this is urgent, because her career is about physical health. I, as a mother, take this subject as a small part of who my daughter is. We all have things to work on, and this is one of hers. But by no means does that mean she has some great failing. It is hard to teach that we all have weaknesses and strengths but that doesn't make one person any better than another.

If we reduce this argument down to it's essence it's about mortality. Doctors have the view that we should do every single thing to avoid death at all costs. I'd rather take a minute to enjoy that life rather than stressing about when it will end.