lajendi

Cycle of Life

       After steady rain for two or three days the sun has mercifully appeared. I appreciate the sun so much more after it has been away. The rain isn't always an annoyance though. When we lived in Colorado we didn't have air conditioning, so in the roasting late afternoons we were grateful to see the thunderheads bubbling up to cool us off. We'd often get an accompanying light show as the sun went down and lightning striped the sky among the tiered peaks of the mountains. 

     A few weeks ago I studied Stoicism for my Humanities class. The ancient Stoics believed that the universe is cyclical, like the patterns of the rain and sun. There is no need to strive for wealth or fame because eventually it will come to everyone, as will poverty and infamy.

     "To everything there is a season, turn, turn..."

     "The wheel in the sky keeps on turning..."   

   Those song lyrics echo through my rainsoaked head today.  

     Last night my sister called to say she had a baby. Although the last month of pregnancy was difficult, and the labor long and befitting its name, all went well and my newest nephew arrived at 7 pm last night. She said he weighed eight pounds, nine ounces and has a full head of bright blond hair like his older sister did on her birth day. As she spoke to me about his sweet cry and the family resemblance I closed my eyes, imagining being with them; watching her kiss his soft head as he melts into her arms with proud Daddy standing by. I miss holding my newborn nephew, and another that will be born soon. By the time I meet them chances are they'll be walking. 

     This morning I received an email from my Aunt saying that my Great Uncle died last night. My extended family members on that side of the family tree hold my attention and my heart, despite not knowing them well. My grandma died when I was six months old. I don't remember her. So I watch her siblings, I listen to their voices, soaking in details of who they are, trying to piece together the woman who is so much a part of me, but still a stranger.  My great uncle who passed last night is my grandma's brother. He was a jeweler and made my wedding ring exactly 18 years ago. 

    When my then fiancée and I met with him to choose the ring style my great uncle didn't know who I was. That happens in large extended families, especially when children grow up quickly, and families ties are stretched over miles and death... and remarriage... and family politics. I missed something there, a connection between family members I would have had if Grandma had been alive.  Missing that connection I felt that I couldn't sit at his knee and beg for another story of their childhood, glimpses into her. (Nevermind that if she were here the stories wouldn't mean so much.) Now I'll miss his funeral, a chance to learn more about his life and an opportunity to see my extended family. 

The cycle of life- one son, brother, man taking his first breath while another takes his last, both in our family on the same night. I'm missing it all, too far away. The cycle of life turning for us all. 

I feel like it's raining again. 

All Signs Point to "Yes".

 

     Remember the Magic 8 Ball? You ask it a question, give it a good shake, then peer through the little blue clouded window until your answer appears. If you didn't like the answer you could inadvertently give it a little shake to find a better one. Most of the answers in the magic ball were ambivalent - 'ask again later', 'answer hazy', or 'concentrate and ask again'. DH and I are so attuned to children at risk and foster care right now that I have noticed those things everywhere. It seems like the cosmic Magic 8 Ball is sending me answers. 

     The day after we talked to Rach about being a foster family there was a Meth Lab bust in the same neighborhood as the high school she'll attend next year. We read in the paper that there were two children, ages 2 & 4, living in the home that were placed in the custody of child services. We pointed out to her that those kids could have come to our home, to give her an idea of where foster kids come from. 

     On Saturday afternoon DH and I went out for our weekly date. We had lunch and went to the bookstore. While perusing the bestsellers and new releases we came across a photo book by Anne Geddes. I'm very familiar with her work (having worked in a picture frame shop) so I passed it by, but DH stopped and thumbed through every picture even remarking that one or two were cute (absolutely no cooing noises though, that would be un-manly). 

 

     As I watched him adore the beautiful newborns I remembered how great he was with our babies and wondered if he was thinking about what it will be like if we get a foster baby. How would it be to get up for early hour feedings now that we're a few years older? It also reminded me of something DH's mother told me when we were first married. She commented that he was wonderful with kids and had no doubt that he would be a good dad. She was absolutely right. I thought back on that, realizing that I was led to marry a man whose heart is big enough to love our children and a foster child. I couldn't do it without him. 

     Last week I took the kids to the library. This has been somewhat rare lately because it's so difficult to manage a two year old at the library (unless it's storytime, then library patrons have to expect weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth). While the kids found their books I quickly looked through the new books. I shouldn't have because I have a mid term tomorrow... but I got 3 books. One of them is called Self Storage. I'm in the middle of it so I won't rate it yet (spoiler alert!), but the main character has a few problems with her children that puts her parenting under a microscope (this is not something the blurb indicated, so I didn't know that going in). It struck me this morning as I read it at the gym that this is how some mothers with children in foster care feel. They parent the same way they were raised and/or find themselves in unfortunate circumstances where they made a bad decision (or several), and their children are taken away. It gave me another level of understanding for birth parents - which I need. 

     I also need this constant reassurance because this seems looney sometimes, especially when I think about how it must appear to others. A year ago I wasn't sure I could take care of my kids because of my physical issues. Now I'm better and willing not only to take on an additional child, but a troubled one at that. When it's right you just know. I can't question it, especially when the cosmic Magic 8 Ball is giving me such an obvious answer: "All signs point to 'Yes'!"

     So Magic 8 Ball, since you're prognosticating so well, what can I make for dinner that costs $3, is healthy, and requires no effort? 

 

Whose Agenda?

As I drove home from my church assignment today, I listened to The Mormon Channel (It's a great Iphone app, and website). There was a conversation with Elder Gonzales and his wife playing. One of the many great things said was (in my own words, as I remember it), "Whose agenda are you pursuing? Many people pursue their own agenda, but when we serve we need to follow God's agenda. We have to give up our own agenda to be successful in serving Him." My experiences in service today showed me that what Elder Gonzales said is true. 

Usually when we have conferences with different congregations, I and another leader teach the young women a lesson. After that lesson is over we have a small meeting with the area's young women leaders to understand their challenges, to train them, and support and encourage their service. Today was a very busy day for our family - My meetings began at 9 am an hour from home, DH spoke in church at 9 am (at a different meeting), there was a baptism we wanted to attend, and Rach had a piece of poetry in the school art show (AWESOME!) which was 12-2. It seemed there was no way to fit all of these things in, with drive time. Most especially it seemed there was no way for me to meet with leaders after church.

I felt prompted to make Rach's event a priority. So our compromise was to meet with the YW leaders during one of the other meetings (not ideal). This solution made me feel uncomfortable because I felt I wasn't supporting the other leaders by skipping a meeting, and even being a bad example of skipping Sunday School. But life's not perfect and you gotta make things work, so that's what we did, and it turned out to be a good thing. 

A few of the concerns of the leaders were surrounding how Sunday meetings have gone with the girls. So as I taught the lesson with my co-teacher we were able to observe the girls and understand them in a way we couldn't have if the leader meeting hadn't previously taken place. We are now better able to support and counsel the leaders because we knew about the issues before we interacted with the girls in class.

Another way in which the spirit guided me for the best good today was in choosing a topic for the lesson and preparing it. I am always amazed at the consistency of this type of guidance. If I pray that the Lord will guide me to teach what he wants people to learn then the preparation goes much more smoothly and the lesson does too. In short, if I pursue God's agenda instead of my own in teaching, I am successful. Because I did that today I was able to teach YW who are new to this country that they should pursue their dreams. It was perfect for their situation, and the other girls too. In addition, my lesson worked well with the lesson taught by the other leader, even though we didn't coordinate in advance. This happened because we both listened to the spirit. 

If I had to teach and help people without guidance from God I would be lost and confused. I have confidence to teach and to lead because the spirit is with me, encouraging me to love those I teach, and to give me a better agenda than the one I would choose myself. 

Secrets are Good..?

     I am an open person- heart on my sleeve, ask me anything. This is pretty obvious here on the blog. I've always felt that there are very few legitimate reasons for keeping a secret. Of course, as these things go, I'm learning why secrets can be good. 

     People think they know who you are and what your life is about if they know a few things about you. This blog is an example. I do write about many things in my life here, but not ALL of my life. That would be impossible. My life is active and vibrant, so many things happen in a day that it would be impossible to write about all of them (even Twitter isn't sufficient). Everyone's life is this way, not just mine. 

     Because I have specific thoughts one day, it doesn't mean I'll still feel the same way 3 days later. (This is one of the many reasons gossip is so horrid and I try to steer clear of it.) This concept of personal change applies to every area of life. Just because one day I'm feeling a little down and remembering my depression and try to share it with others as a means of help, doesn't mean that I'm falling into a depression now. My words, my thoughts, are not ME. Your words, your thoughts are not YOU. We change every moment as we interact with our surroundings and make choices. No one is static. 

     What bothers me is when people use these temporarily expressed thoughts, feelings, and experiences to determine who I am, or who another person is. Yes, we use these pieces of information to understand a person, but those thoughts or experiences are not the definition of that person. Back to the example of depression - I once was a woman suffering from depression. Even then I wasn't a "depressed woman", I was a woman fighting the affliction of depression. Even now I am not a "recovering depressive", I'm a woman who battled depression in the past and now knows how to deal with it personally. 

      This applies to other areas as well. I am about to become a foster mom. That doesn't change who I am, I am ME, I am not "foster mom". The assumption of a new role doesn't automatically change a person. Because I'll have a few life changes involved with taking care of children doesn't mean I won't go to bookgroup, can't help people outside my home, or never want to paint again (or am a saintly angel, that's laughable). It's lazy to push people into stereotypes and leave them there - especially when you interact with those people in real life (IRL) and can effect their lives and their family. 

     This is one reason I'm so hesitant to share my blog with people I interact with IRL - it changes what they think of me, they think they know all of me because they read the blog and think it is ME. 

     Yesterday at our foster interview the agency rep said that information about foster kids should not be posted on the internet, facebook, or twitter. I nodded my head and said "OK" while I mentally clicked off the list of foster blogs on the internet who currently do just that. I want to share my experiences, but the kids deserve privacy, and not just because it's a law (HIPA). Their experiences don't define them either and I would HATE for any of them to be labeled or treated differently because someone who knows me and interacts with the kids IRL reads this blog. 

 

     So I have to think about all of this, what I'm going to do. I don't know, I haven't decided. I enjoy blogging, connecting with strangers through the internet and letting my far flung friends and family know what is happening in my life. But it's that in-between crowd I'm not so sure about. Do I need to take my blog strictly private? Meaning, I'd create a new blog with an alias where I could post with made-up names and places. I would inform my closest friends and family  so they could keep up with me. Then I'd never utter a word about my blog to anyone IRL. This scenario makes me sad, but the temptation is all too strong for people to gossip, to tell others about the blog who then lurk and then gossip more. Their talk effects our church life, our community life, our personal lives. It gets ugly and messy and I don't like it. 

.

Sometimes secrets are necessary. There is a reason God didn't give us the ability to read minds. 

The Road to Fostering - first interview

     DH and I have our first interview with the foster agency today. I'm nervous about what the questions will be, and scared that I might freeze up or say something stupid. 

     The first step in the whole process was meeting with the new foster parent coordinator(NFPC), who answered our questions and asked a few. At that time she outlined the basics of how the system works and gave us an application. After deciding that we were crazy enough to take this on, and that this is the agency for us, we filled out the application (names, birthdates, residences, children's info, job info, schooling, and a long list of questions about criminal activity). We mailed the form in and when the NFPC looked it over and saw no red flags she called us for the interview. Supposedly she's already sent out for our background checks, or that will be something we do today. That could take a while (4-6 weeks) because we've lived in PA for less than 10 years so they check other states we've lived in. 

     I'm trying to think through possible questions we'll get. Last time the NFPC asked why we wanted to be foster parents and we sort of froze and said, "We want to help kids." She told us that we need to think about what we can offer children. It felt like a job interview type question, that there might be certain things they are looking for in the response. 

    When we filled out the foster parent application, the question was there again. If I remember correctly we wrote something along the lines of: We can provide a stable, loving, and safe home environment. (It was longer than that but I can't think of the exact words now, it was short and to the point.) That was the hardest question on the application for me. DH and I went over it, he said what we wrote was fine but I felt like more words would show how much we want to help (the writer in me coming out). He convinced me that we'd have plenty of opportunities to share more later. Today is one of those opportunities. 

     Coming from a culture and family background that is big into humility, this is awkward for me. We do have many great things to offer children in need, but tooting my own horn doesn't come easily. Maybe I need to be like Dwight and listen to some rowdy music before I go in for this interview?

     Another issue I'm slightly concerned about is religion. The question was on the application and we answered it 'LDS (Mormon)'. Living where we do it could be that she has no idea what that means. It could also mean that she Googled it and found all kinds of lies and half-truths. Here's a video I could refer her to. Or this article about Mormon foods, after all, every kid needs more Jello and funeral potatoes in their diet. The reality is that we'll have to explain our religion in 50 words or less (exaggerating a little). 

     There was also a question on the application about mental health, I fessed up to depression. I haven't had a problem with it for years so hopefully they'll see it as a positive that I overcame it, and that DH and I stayed together through it. I think those experiences enable me to be understanding and compassionate towards children dealing with tumultuous emotions. 

     Really, this is the easy interview. The next interview is when DH and I go in separately and are asked about our childhoods and associated issues. That could take 2+ hours. Right now that sounds like a police interrogation, but I shouldn't begin freaking myself out now, I'll have plenty of time for that later. 

     The 3rd and last interview will be in our home and will include our children. I totally understand this and think the kids will be fine. I do, however, fully expect them to share embarrassing details, like my strange inability to fold laundry, or how stinky I smell after workouts. That interview worries me more because the house will be inspected at the same time. Oh, do I have issues with that.  Not that I don't think it should be done, I see it as completely necessary. But this type of situation can turn me into Polly Perfect in a way similar to David Banner morping into the Incredible Hulk - not fun. I read a blog post that said these home studies aren't expecting perfection, just basic cleanliness; if your home is too clean when you have several kids they might worry more. 

    So that's what I know about the foster parent interviews. Another part of the process that we'll start soon are the foster parenting classes. With names like 'Discipline/Positive Behavior Shaping' and 'Safe Crisis Management' my interest is peaked. I'm not scared though, I keep telling myself that the kids we'll have will be too small to give us much trouble. It's not true, but that's what I'm thinking for now. I trust the classes to be a huge help and God to help us with the rest. 

New Shoes

New shoes do make you run faster. It's not just a playground rumor. 

 

Yesterday I got new shoes and a few workout clothes. I won't call them running shoes and clothes just yet. New shoes are important support for running feet. I ran twice for a few minutes during my treadmill time today, I'm very cautiously working up to what I previously could do. It would be so awesome to run outside this summer. 

My knees are cooperating so far. Today they don't hurt at all - that is pretty amazing considering what I dealt with this time last year. I've been working on my core, crunches and the exercises from the physical therapist. I thought my core would be strengthened to run just by running. I talked to my physical therapist about this and she said that it isn't true. Even though running is one of the best workouts, it still does not strengthen all the muscles necessary for running, such as the abs and back. I think this could be the reason I got runner's knee. 

When your core isn't strong your form fails as you tire. For me that meant my toes turn in, I hunch over, and generally look like an ogre loping after it's prey. This is where the damage occurs. So now when I focusing on form I watch my toes and stop running when I get tired. 

My whole life I've been pigeon-toed. I wore a brace as a baby to try to correct it and special shoes as a little kid. It didn't work. Now I'm finding that it is due to genetics and weak muscles. Not all my muscles are weak, the ones specifically needed to keep my feet pointing forward need work. As I do the exercises recommended by the physical therapist it strengthens the muscles that turn my feet outward. As I focus on placing my feet with my toes pointing forward (which feels as if I'm running like a duck, that's how much my toes want to go inward) it reduces the chance of injuring myself again, or exacerbating the existing damage. 

The interesting thing about all of this is that in the past I never knew if I should try to correct my pigeon toes. As a kid when I was teased about it I tried to point my toes forward but as soon as I forgot they would go back. It seemed to only be an issue of appearance. I got used to it and ignored the taunts. As I started running it was interesting that my dysfunctional feet didn't cause trouble and neither did my bunions (that sounds like something old ladies have, for the record, I'm not old!). It was just a matter of time though. It took about 5 years of running before I started to have knee pain. 

While I'm working on these feet issues I don't think it will ever really be "cured". It has been my body's fall back position for so long, and I wonder if there is something in my bone or muscle structure that precipitates it. Regardless of cause, I can do things to improve, even if it doesn't ever go completely away. 

So watch out pavement - my new shoes and I will be confronting you very soon, at a much faster pace. 

Spring Happenings

Today my friend has a post at MW - how their family worked with God to help their daughter with Kawasaki Disease. 

I submitted for my Humanities mid-term! It is such a relief to be halfway through the class. Applying for foster care lit a fire under me, I really need to finish this class and be well on my way to finishing a Psych Stats class before we get into full-time fostering. After that major class the remaining classes will be cake, with a few rocks baked in. 

I finally planted seeds! The warm weather encouraged me to believe that it will eventually get warm enough for things to grow. They sprouted  quickly this year. 

 

I also tested my garden soil - it is pathetic. Low on everything although the acidity levels are good. But by the time I adjust all the other issues I'll probably have issues with acidity. Composted manure here I come!

Today I finished The Sugar Queen. I highly recommend it, this book came along just when I needed it. A good story with a magical lightness. Yummy!

News Flash - Eating well is difficult. I have to share how horridly I ate on Saturday so I can feel good about improving: 

Breakfast: Lucky Charms with lowfat milk. This makes no sense. I should have poured on the heavy cream while I was at it. We never have Lucky Charms in the house, but I got them for J's birthday. 

Lunch: At Chuck E Cheese for J's friend's birthday party so, you guessed it: 2 1/2 slices of pizza and soda. Why not the salad bar? Because the pizza was right there in front of me while the salad bar required a little effort. 

Dinner: Popeyes. Do I need to tell you the scary details? Full confession purges the soul - two deep fried fish fillets, biscuit with honey, cole slaw (got a veggie in there!) and a full sugar sprite. 

Is there any wonder that I had a headache and achy knees on Sunday? My body was nearly suffering from malnutrition even though I went far over the number of calories required to sustain life. So after that I'm quite proud of myself for eating these things today (although not necessarily the best choices) 

Breakfast: granola bar, a few grapes, and water.

Mid morn snack - juice and 2 whole wheat muffins (I noticed that most juices now have water and sugar as their leading ingredients. We aren't drinking juice, we're drinking sugar water, like hummingbirds.) I'm under no delusions about the sugar content of this meal, even with the whole wheat - not good choices. 

Lunch - Ham and cheese sandwich, half of Baby's chocolate muffin. Don't say a word about that muffin, it was going to waste. 

Afternoon snack - V8 juice and a trail mix of nuts and dried blueberries (a new find that is great! So great I think I ate too much.)

Dinner - Haven't eaten yet but plan to train wreck the day with scrambled eggs, hashbrowns and juice because I don't feel like making dinner. I'll make it up tomorrow by making Chicken Chili. 

I'm telling myself that we'll eat better soon when the veggies are in season. 

To end this scatterbrained post, here's a picture Baby took of herself.

 

Another Place at the Table

I read this book in one day, Another Place at the Table by Kathy Harrison. It is about her adventures in foster parenting. Very eye opening, informative, and sad/hopeful - yes, all of those things at the same time. I appreciated reading the reality of foster parenting (as real as a well-edited book can be), understanding the amount of compassion, fortitude, wisdom, and tolerance needed to help troubled children. The sad part was reading about just a few of the kids who had issues so severe they couldn't be cared for in a traditional foster setting. That is sad, so so sad. 

It was so good to read about her interactions with birth parents, both the successful and the scary.  It was informative to see how her tendency to take on too much, out of compassion, didn't result in positive outcomes. If it's too much to handle it doesn't work out for anyone. As much as you would like to be super mom, no one is. A very good reminder for me going into this. 

I don't know if I'd recommend this book to everyone. It's got some pretty harsh facts about the abuse that happens to children. For me, going into foster parenting, I want my eyes to be open because it motivates and informs, preparing me for what is coming. This book has a sequel and I'll be reading it also. 

Now I'm onto a little fluff reading - The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison and I'm re-reading Circle of Friends by Maeve Binchy. 

 While we're talking books I have to tell you about Rach's reading - she has read 3 books in the last week. One of them was The Hobbit by Tolkien (which is being made into a movie!). I am so proud!

Our Genesis of Foster Parenting

DH and I have submitted an application to become foster parents. Those words "foster parenting" aren't my favorite. I like being a parent, but the sometimes negative connotations of "foster parent" I don't like. Foster parenting can sound big, ugly, overwhelming, complicated, and of course people automatically think about severely disturbed children with sexual issues. While all of those things can be a part of foster parenting they are not the definition of it. 

The first post I linked to a few days ago was specifically about adopting, but I think the explanation of love in action is what foster parenting is. What I didn't like about that post is, "And don't get me started on the foster care system. That is most certainly not a solution. Children need families. God's best for a child is not foster care or an orphanage. It is a family." This is a complete misunderstanding of the foster care system, and an innate misunderstanding of the potential of human beings. 

Parenting is an indescribable job. You have to do it to understand it. To be a good one you need examples, and not everyone has had a good example. You need a solid foundation in life to be a good parent, or major restoration as an adult. To be a good parent you need to be free from major addictions and be financially and mentally capable of providing care for a needy little person. Not everyone who has children is capable of being a proper parent (notice I didn't say "a perfect parent"). To me this doesn't mean that their family should be immediately ripped apart and their child permanently given to another. People can change, this belief is at the heart of the religion I practice and the way I live my life. 

Because I believe people can change I feel that parents who can't properly care for their child(ren) should be given the opportunity to change. The problem is that it takes time. While the parent is changing and learning the child needs a safe, loving, and stable environment in which they can grow and learn as well. This is what a good foster family offers. 

On this podcast I heard a former foster child tell his story. His mother was an alcoholic, who loved he and his brother dearly but couldn't properly care for them while addicted. He stayed in foster homes 3 different times while his mother worked to get rid of her addiction. Eventually she kicked the habit and their family was reunited permanently. That is a success story of foster parenting, that is the goal (or should be) of every foster parent. 

I believe in the power of families. I believe a child will have the best life possible if they can live in safety and health with their own parents because the bond of parenthood is that strong. This is worth working for. It is worth society investing in parents. It is worth the heartache my family and I will feel when a child leaves our home to be reunified with their parent(s). It is worth the struggle our family will have while helping children who carry baggage from their family's dysfunction. Children are worth that, every soul on the earth is worth that. As I told a friend recently, "They are real people, children of Heavenly Father. They deserve to have someone cry over them."

Foster parents are sometimes asked if they think they are perfect parents. I laugh about that. No way do I think I am perfect, nor do I have any illusions about the perfection of the rest of my family. Something I saw in our city explains why, even though I'm flawed, I feel I have a home worth opening to foster kids.

I was walking down the street in our city when a local elementary school let out. Many parents were shepherding backpacked children through the streets. One mother and her young son walked in front of me. The mother berated the child constantly with many expletives thrown in. I walked behind her for at least 3 minutes and in that time her mouth spewed some of the most vile filth I've ever heard and it was directed towards a child. She eventually stopped to tie his shoe (which was all his "!$*# fault, and why couldn't the little *$%?#@ tie his own &*%*! shoe?!!) As she bent over to tie his shoe I walked past them. That little boy looked up at me with a blank expression, staring straight through me. I wanted to stop that mother, to tell her how inappropriate it was, to stand up for that child. But that woman was huge, she'd probably have no problem taking her frustrations out on this  *#$@ white lady. In the end the child would probably suffer more wrath at her hands if I tried to interviene. So I said nothing, kept walking, and prayed for that little boy. 

That is just one experience among many I've had that pushes my heart towards fostering. Maybe I'll share a few more of those experiences here in the future. 

The certification process for foster parents is a long one with many steps. We've just begun, the process will likely take 4 months and at any time something could come up that would exclude us from approval. So while we want to be foster parents there are a lot of things that could derail the process.

I'll share some of the process, the ups and downs, here on the blog. It's nice to finally share this huge new part of our life with everyone. We had to keep it private while we deliberated and discussed it with our children. They are all on board, although they may not have a complete understanding of what we're in for. What am I saying? Even I don't have a complete understanding of what we're in for! But I do have confidence in God's help and our ability as human beings to do difficult things. 

Any questions?

Happy Birthday Buddy!

(I promised a follow up to yesterday's mystery but today is my son's birthday, so it will be tomorrow.)

My little boy's 8th birthday is today! The years go by so quickly. He is growing into a sweet and vivacious young man. I'm proud of the effort he puts into school. It isn't easy for him but he tries, I wish his teacher would realize that more often.

He is happy 99% of the time. This evening he and I drove to the grocery store to buy his second birthday cake (remember this one?). He begged to have the windows down in the car and I obliged. As we picked up speed he started giggling from the back seat. I looked back and saw the wind whipping his hair back as he laughed, "It tickles!" It was great to see him taking joy from a simple pleasure. I feel like giggling myself after the last few days of 70 degrees!

For his birthday he got the second Metroid video game. I was a little hesitant to get it for him because of the violence. After watching him work towards finishing the first game I felt that he has learned diligence from playing the game. He really had a hard time with the last part of the game, he worked at it for more than a week before conquering it yesterday all on his own. That is a big accomplishment from a boy who can't seem to sit still for 3 minutes. 

(By the way, how do you deal with boys' tendencies for violence? In some ways they have to 'toughen up' to survive as a male in this society, but I don't like to subject him to it either. Same dilemma surrounding defending himself, I don't want anyone to mess with him so I'd like him to learn how to protect himself, but at the same time he needs to be nice - the male world is confusing to this girl!)

He also got a Captain Moroni poster that is really cool, and a Ben 10 lego set. 

 

  
 

Happy Birthday to my buddy! It is great to have a boy to raise, to love, and to be loved by him in return. So many great things are in his future. I love who he is- loving life, adventurous, friendly, bubbling over, curious, and smart!

Eighth birthdays are a big deal in our church, read my post today on MW to find out why.