Here's the story, I was a jerk today. In church. Doesn't that make it twice as bad?
Our family was sitting in church while the sacrament was happening. When the older couple next to us began to talk. First it was a loud whisper, then it became a regular volume speaking - loud enough that I could hear what they were saying. I couldn't believe it. They just kept on going. So after a few minutes I leaned over and said, "Excuse me, could you be quiet please?"
The smile left the woman's face and it was quiet.
A few minutes later I tried to communicate no ill will by smiling at her.
I felt like a complete clod. Yes, I was glad they were quiet, but was it worth the price of making the woman feel bad?
So throughout the meeting I planned my apology, hardly listening to the talks. I prepared myself for a good old fashioned lecture.
At the closing "Amen" I leaned over, took the woman by the hand and said, "Sister, I'm sorry if I was offensive."
She smiled and squeezed my hand.
I think it's OK, but I still feel like a jerk. In the moment I wanted them to be quiet to be a good example to my kids, so I could enjoy the sacrament, and to show respect to the Savior. Was it really any of my business to ask them to be quiet?
You are so not a jerk. I promise.
Posted by: Amanda D | April 26, 2010 at 10:54 AM
I vote not a jerk. Especially since you made sure to make amends afterward.
Posted by: Maggie Popp | April 26, 2010 at 03:18 PM
Came here from Segullah to see what you were such a jerk about. ;) I don't think you were a jerk at all. If someone leaned over and told me to be quiet during the Sacrament (after all, it's the most important part of the whole 3 hours we're there), I'd be SO mortified at my poor behavior that was ruining the moment for someone else. I suspect she was similarly embarrassed.
Posted by: Heidi | April 26, 2010 at 05:55 PM
I've run into that very scenario many times in church. I'm kind of glad you spoke up, because I never have...not with adults, anyway.
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Posted by: Sue | April 26, 2010 at 07:17 PM
Thanks for your support! The great thing about this is that church comes along every week so I'll have many more opportunities to be nice.
Posted by: jendoop | April 27, 2010 at 05:40 AM
you know that lady would have given your kdis the stink eye if they were loud... well, then again, maybe she can't hear and that is why she was so loud. I was told to be quiet by a complete stranger at a leadership meeting.
Posted by: tiffany | April 28, 2010 at 08:56 PM
The sad thing is that alot of the older folks can't hear so well anymore. I know because I went through that with my mother and you had to yell into her left ear only. But still...I hate hearing people talk in church. Or anywhere public when it's more polite to keep quiet. Anyone been to a movie lately??? It's just so very rude.
Posted by: Lucy | April 30, 2010 at 11:25 AM