"Come, come, ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear;
But with joy wend your way.
Though hard to you this journey may appear,
Grace shall be as your day.
’Tis better far for us to strive
Our useless cares from us to drive;
Do this, and joy your hearts will swell—
All is well! All is well!"- William Clayton (LDS Hymns #30)
I used to watch Oprah frequently. One of the things that I enjoyed about it was the feeling I got when the following scenario happened (As it did frequently. But this is only a re-enactment, not an actual conversation on the show.)
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Oprah: Today we'd like to welcome Leah, a 38 year old housewife from Arizona. Let's take a look at Leah's life
(They show a clip of Leah's lavish house, her 2.6 kids, tricked out SUV, and movie star gorgeous husband. The last shot is of Leah, perfectly attired and quaffed. She says, "I feel like I have it all, like this is what I've worked for all my life. But now that I'm here I'm just not happy." The clip ends with Leah peering into the sunset longingly from the deck of her swimming pool.)
Oprah: Leah, thank you for being on the show, we appreciate you sharing this painful secret with the world.
Leah: (with tears in her eyes) Thank you for having me. I want to be here so I can help other women just like me.
(Leah goes on to detail her life and explain that before she changed there was no joy, no excitement in her life.)
Oprah: Tell us about the change that happened in your life.
Leah: I decided that I wasn't taking care of me. My life was all about my family, and their interests. Since that time I've started a company that recruits women for high paying corporate boards, learned to ski, and I consult for a private home decorating firm. My life is going in the right direction, I am finally getting what I deserve, a life focused on myself.
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There are several reasons that this scene may have elicited warm fuzzies for me. First, it proved to me that even rich people aren't happy. It reinforced my preconceived notions about wealth and happiness (which isn't true). Second, it validated my own feelings of unease and lessened the burden of responsibility. Meaning that if this woman who seemingly had it all and did it all was unhappy then obviously the fact that I experienced sadness proved that it was because I wasn't doing enough for myself. Despite the initial warm fuzzies and the need to properly care for ourselves, I think these type of scenarios planted seeds of dissatisfaction and selfishness in my soul. It created a sense of entitlement.
My sister recently mentioned entitlement in a blog post . As children of God we are entitled to absolutely zip. That's right, our "deserving" anything from God is a falsehood.
"I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants ." Mosiah 2:21.
This scripture used to make me feel uncomfortable, like I wasn't of value, that at any moment God could dessimate me because I wasn't worth anything to him. But that isn't what this scripture is saying! We are of intense value to God, but it is not because we are profitable servants. We can't add one ounce to his possessions, he already owns it all! What God is after is our salvation and eternal life, not more in his bank account.
It is interesting to me that the scripture above is included in a sermon about service. King Benjamin wanted his people to serve, yet he told them that serving didn't profit God. Was he sending a mixed message? No, he was teaching us about the qualities of true service, and about the personality of God. God serves us constantly even though we don't profit him anything. If this is our example, what does that say about our service? That we shouldn't expect anything in return for service. No entitlements.
The answer to why we should serve goes beyond obedience and because people are in need. The answer is in this quote from David O. McKay, "Man’s greatest happiness comes from losing himself for the good of others." (from this talk)
Service is the answer for unhappiness. (Please understand that I am not saying that service is the answer for clinical depression or other mental illnesses, that is a hugely different issue.)
Many years ago I became acquainted with a wealthy woman (wealthy by my standards). One day we got onto the topic of paying tithing, she said,"Getting paid more doesn't mean that paying tithing is any easier. It gets harder because that check is so large. You look at it and think, Wow, that could almost buy a car!" An attitude that what we sacrifice is too much, is sometimes mentally applied to the service we might perform for our fellow man.
I've wrongly thought that way very recently in regards to the responsibilities my husband and I have at church. It seemed overwhelming that so much is asked of both of us. How could we take care of everything in our lives and perform the duties necessary at church? When I asked it of myself, of my husband, and of God, I thought it was a rhetorical question. Turns out God gave me an answer. The answer is that I have too many useless cares. I have too much good and better but not enough best.
(Mother's Day 2007, pg with Baby, R, J, & A)
This morning the lines to the hymn at the beginning of this post came into my mind, "our useless cares from us to drive..." The service I perform is important, to some in desperate need it could even be called essential. My children and husband would say that my service in our home is essential. That is something worth caring about. What isn't so obvious is what isn't worth caring about, the useless cares. It is a waste of our precious energies to worry and care for useless things. Useless cares may be different for each individual- right now Oprah is on my list of useless cares, but she might not be one of yours.
A care that I thought was less important, but not exactly useless, was housework and maintaining a nice home (not overly lavish). I am realizing that it is important and effects my family. After I cleaned the kitchen and cleared everything off the kitchen table, J said, "Mom I like what you did with the table." A little clue that I hadn't been creating the right environment in my home. Today I mopped the floor (hooray me!). At the end of each day that I make an effort towards keeping a nice home I feel good. I'm not saying that this is something you need to care about (just like you're not going to tell me to care about Oprah), but for me, and where I'm at in my progression, it is something that God wants me to care about.
We have to trust God enough to let him lead us in a direction that roots the useless cares out of our lives, choosing the path of selfless service. To me that is what the hymn means when it says, "No toil nor labor fear." Choosing service usually involves a period of stress where we renegotiate our priorities and find useless cares to eliminate.Through this process we will not become profitable servants to God, but we will find greater happiness, please God, and have the side benefit of aiding those in need.
