Years ago I bought a book called Becoming Women of Strength. Usually when I read a book I don't re-read it, only enjoying the initial exposure to new information. But this book was one that I read over and over again and looked up specific passages to ponder more. It's not often that I stumble across a book that fits my timely personal needs as well as this one did.
At that time in my life I prayed for greater strength on a daily basis. I felt so overwhelmed by life that I couldn't see myself improving. It was similar to trying to lift a box that is too heavy - you try and try but at some point realize that it is just beyond your powers. I recognized my need for greater strength to lift the weight, so when I came across a book about gaining strength I bought it. It was a pleasant surprise to find that it wasn't full of 'get strong quick' formulas, but contained real truths about being strong with God's support.
Here are a few quotes from the book:
"Sister Elaine Jack wisely counseled that 'maturity allows acceptance of self even when you are not all you would want to be.' (Stability in these Times, Women of Wisdom & Knowledge, p. 42)." p. 20
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"'Forinasmuch as this people draw near unto me with their mouth, and with their lips do honor me, but have removed their hearts far from me, and their fear towards me is taught by the precepts of men...'(2Ne 27:25) We believe that precept of "fear" spoken of by Nephi refers to the destructive guilt, shame, and low self-esteem we often incorporate into our religious beliefs. Faith in our own worth and our eternal potential is a natural by-product of correctly applying the truths of the gospel. When we know 'the only true God and Jesus Christ,' we will know that the eternal mission of the Savior is to perfect the sinner - to help us feel the highest self-esteem in spite of our mistakes." p. 46
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"Choose to believe that your best self is the real you." p. 50
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"The reality of marriage is that we will experience frustration and anger at times. It is unhealthy for us to suppress such feelings. chastising ourselves for having such "ungodly" thoughts. Anger can turn to sustained resentment, which eventually manifests itself through emotional barriers, increasing marital conflict, and physical illness. 'Many marriages are being destroyed because partners have not learned how to properly express their anger. They are keeping the lid on a lot of deep feelings, doing a slow burn, and getting even in a thousand and one subtle ways.' (David A. Seamunds, Healing for Damaged Emotions, p. 106-107). Anger is a secondary emotion caused by other feelings, such as 'I feel hurt,' 'I feel jealous,' 'I feel unimportant.' Finding our true emotion beneath the layers of anger is a challenge, especially if we have made it a habit to suppress our feelings. Do not hesitate to pray and ask the Lord to help reveal the feelings of your heart." p. 144
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Recently a local church leader shared a few of his concerns about the rising generation. He has stewardship over missionaries, age 19-23, in our area so he has had enough experience that I trust his assessments (and he's a parent, you could even say he's a temporary parent to more than a hundred missionaries). One of the things that he has found is that some youth have not been required to do hard things. What's the problem with this? These young adults lack the strength necessary to be good missionaries because they haven't used their emotional, mental, and spiritual muscles, their souls have a bit of atrophy.
I don't believe he's saying that the youth under his care aren't good people who want to do good. I believe what he was trying to point out is that shielding children from all difficulty does them no favors. This illuminated my thinking as a parent and reminded me that my past struggles have given me strength.
As I'm writing this post a real life example is taking place with my son, J. Yesterday we instituted a new house rule - before free time everyone has to clean for 10 minutes. R. and A. weren't thrilled about this, but they complied quickly and had free time as usual. J. was not happy and pouted, whined, and wasted at least 30 minutes of his free time. Today J's attitude was even worse, so bad that it was impossible for me to time his clean up. I switched from a timed clean up to a specific chore being accomplished, which he liked even less. He cried and wailed, "It's too hard, I can't do it!" After that statement I was determined to show him that he could do it, even if it took all night. Now he is done and happily enjoying his free time. I hope this situation and others like it show J. that he can do hard things. By exposing my children to situations just beyond their comfort level I'm strengthening them and preparing them for life.
This is what God did in my past when I sought for strength, and he continues to do it now. Situations happen that seem beyond my capabilities, sometimes I'd even like to cry like J., "It's too hard, I can't do it!" (sometimes I do). When I apply truth those situations I find that through the experience I am strengthened just a little, enough to meet the requirements of the next hard thing. In the meantime I develop some pretty good muscles like determination, patience, compassion, and leadership. Proving this scripture to be true: "All these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good." (D&C 122:7)